Inner Nourishment. Feeding the Spirit rather than the Ego

b9cb9bb6f63148b47fd9b115a0410d8dWhen we arrive out of our cocoon and into the light of humanity, we experience what it is like to be ‘in’ the world. We get tugged in all sorts of directions via the need for nourishment and support both externally and internally. How this is responded to or reacted to defines much of the way we view and deal with life.

Of course there are other factors, like what we bring in with us on a biological cellular level, gene wise, other life wise etc. None the less what we are taught or influenced by when we are small impacts on how we manage things emotionally as we get older.

Women (in general) have a natural predisposition to care, serve and nurture others. Many have been taught both through society and parental expectations that it is a role that they must fulfill in some way. I remember not long ago talking to a Greek woman at a bus stop and her first question to me was ‘Do you have children? Are you married?’ In the media today, if a woman is single for too long or does not have children she is perceived as somehow faulty.

Many women have been told and taught that they should not be selfish. This has halted many towards nourishing within or really knowing how to go about starting that process. Just to be clear indulging is not the same as nourishing.

I have met women who have gone to multiple workshops,  many yoga classes, do all sorts of therapy etc.…but still there is a lack and an emptiness within because they are still somehow seeking the nourishing connection outside themselves within the workshop experience/participants or the in connection with the therapist or the group class or getting off on the high that these things bring initially. It’s not about the choice of courses or the chosen workshops or therapies it’s about the deeper motivation, the hunger and the longing for nourishment.

dicksee-chivalry-1885Men (in general) are taught to be strong, courageous and brave.  They are not taught to self nourish and this leads to many having a crippling sense of low self-esteem, shame and rejection. They are left feeling depressed, in a state of self loathing and don’t step up when they are needed to. They are weakended both emotionally and spiritually.  Men have never really known how to self nourish either. Instead they are locked inside an inner prison. Trapped inside a place where there negative thoughts swallow them up.

In today’s times we see more selfishness and more narcissism than ever before. The ‘somebodies’ have their boats, there huge mansions, their private jets, their label clothes, bling, shoes wardrobes etc.

This is what has been mistaken for inner nourishment. images-1This is what the young see as THE way to be nourished. When I have asked young folk what they want in life, many answer….MONEY. That is what they see as the way to fulfillment. If they don’t have that they see themselves as failures.

On my Facebook page many of my posts refer to ways one can nourish the self from within because I see such a massive lack of it in people.

The ego is not the e0ab1fd9c355fd2a386ea1e40b4e8c098nemy as its part of us that helps us survive in all kind of ways, however it can be quite greedy.

It ‘wants’ things much like a child that you take to the shop and says ‘Can I have this?, I want this, can I have this? Or another example might be the child that has way too many presents every time their birthday or Christmas comes around and they rip the present open and then quickly move onto the next without hardly acknowledging it or those who gave it to them.

They have a bent  sense of meaning in what being imagesnourished represents and their parents are just trying to keep up with the demands. The child becomes addicted to what they ‘want’ much like the rich reality lot that the media loves to shove down TV lover’s throats. This is what many of the youth today equate with what they want and what they MUST have in order to survive in society.

Sitting in a luxurious apartment with all the money in the world, all the bling you need and all the connections you need to make you socially acceptable, is a far cry from inner nourishment. It’s narcissistic JUNK FOOD!!

We do have a choice in what we want to feed and nourish on a regular basis.

The spiritual self and the child within, is in need of nourishment. It needs sustenance that won’t come in the shape of anything money can buy.

Feed the Ego or the Spirit.

I am not saying become all pure, righteous and mung bean about it. Balance your needs and wants but choose your spirit nourishment as a priority. That’s were the feeling of contentment, peace and compassionate self-love arises from.

hollysierra16A few steps towards Spiritual Nourishment.

  • Journal your self talk each day for a few minutes. See how much you fill your thoughts with positive or negative statements. This is your daily intake of inner food. What are you feeding yourself? And how can you be happier if you are feeding yourself junk food filled with crap. Then be pro active and jump into some options to change your thinking eg. Mindfulness,  CBT, Voice Dialogue, EFT (tapping) to name a few.
  • Work on building your inner sanctuary within through the shaman’s tree, to a place where you feel safe to be nourished. Where your totems, guides and kin can hold space and guide you. In that place of sanctuary, begin to invite your inner child to come forward. Listen to them, accept whatever mood they are in and be the one who nourishes them. (This automatically nourishes you from within)

Spend time in nature, away from others, take space to feel who you are away from other people’s energetic influences. Soften your mind, walk down to your heart and breathe the medicine of nature into your being.

You are wor43ff66c257dcb8036d958862ad073599th nourishing. You are worth loving and caring for. It is not selfish. In doing this your ability to care, love, and connect increases.

If you feel you would like more guidance in how to self nourish and move beyond the blocks you can find me at my website.


Be Gentle With Yourself







The Cleansing Ways to Growth

kristinfoley_2When you decided to walk the path to be more consciousness and spiritually in touch, you may not have known that it would include times where you not exactly beaming with happiness. Growth can feel painful at times and leave us feeling quite exhausted. However this is what we came for and subconsciously called out for.


This is the giant earth schoolroom and these are some of the growth and cleansing lessons that many of us will journey through.

Growth and cleansing ways appear in all sorts of different forms.

Spiritual Emergence.

End of a Relationship

Loss of a job

Physical illness



Just to name a few.

Often these experiences can seem like indicators that we have failed in some way. To this there are more heavy layers added which may be comparing our own path to other people or having others worry or show deep concern or indicate that what you are doing is wrong.

These are rites of passage and they are sending us messages on a much deeper level. They are telling us that we need to bring change and or a deeper shift in attitude to some area of our life.

Something is knocking on the inner door trying to tell us about what we need, but it’s up to us to open the door.the_door_by_machiavellicro-d606f1w

Here is my viewpoint (this does not mean its right, it’s just how from my experience I see it)

Spiritual Emergence: Its it literally a cosmic wake up call that comes after many indications and warning signals. It is something that will rock you to the core of your being on many dimensions so as to realign you with your authentic pathway. It is much like a snake shedding its skin to be renewed.

Spiritual Emergence knocks to say: Rebirth is here. Let go, be gentle with yourself, stay grounded and roll with the adventure that is here. Your inner compass will lead you in the right direction.

If you do not open the door you may find yourself confronted by a multitude of mental health issues, medication and times in institutionalization that could have been brought to balance earlier on.

End of a Relationship: This can be an opportunity to open and clear patterns of behaviour that you attract in your life and play out. This can be an indicator of where in your life needs healing and more insight. The grief one goes through is a cleansing of a dream that no longer may befit you with that person.

End of a Relationship knocks to say: What programs or patterns of relating have you ascribed to that no longer serve your soul.

In not opening the door you could find yourself in a very toxic relationship, addicted to the wrong kind of attention and at worst create a violent outcome. All of this will drain your of your unique life force and a sense of self esteem.

Loss of a job: This can be an opportunity to realign yourself with an occupation or path that resonates with your soul better. It may well throw you into a spin as it will affect other areas of you life, but this can prioritize what is really important to you as opposed to you identity being caught up with what you do instead of who you are.

Loss of a job knocks to say: Are your values inline with who you are and what you do?

If you don’t open the door: you may well drag everything else that you have in your life down the black hole of failure with you and find yourself even worse off and your vibration will lend others to not wanting to employ you.

Physical Illness: Illness has a way of stopping us in our tracks. It tends to move our attention inward to ourselves due to pain or discomfort. Illness can also be a way of telling us to stop heading in a certain direction and come back to a sense of self-nurturing and to learn to receive from others with humbleness.

Physical illness: Knocks to say: In what ways do you need to nurture yourself better?

If you don’t open the door: The illness could become all-consuming and gain strength and then the illness becomes who you are and you become the victim of it mentally and emotionally. This will lead to your immune system becoming weaker and weaker.

Depression is more often than not a resistance to change of some sort joined with deep inward feelings of self loathing and anger that one cannot bring about the change to be able to shift out of that which does not serve.

Depression knocks to say: Begin to self-nurture and befriend (different to indulge) the negative inner voice of hate and self-loathing.

If you don’t open the door: The self-loathing and hatred will push everything away and your perspective of the world will grow to be an isolated dark shadow of misery and spiritual and emotional exhaustion.

Anxiety: To me this indicates too much time in the worrying recesses of the mind and definitely not at home in the earth suit (body). When people have anxiety attacks the spirit is outside of the body in stress and they have disconnected in a state of fear. There is often an element of feeling trapped. The only place that can trap us is our mind.

09c7843ab80a728dd202367ffe167255Anxiety knocks to say: Begin in cleansing and managing the mind better as well as the energetic debri’s it creates.

If you don’t open the door: This may well lead to greater issues of fear in your life and will prevent you from participating and saying ‘yes’ to opportunities. You may stop making decisions all together for fear of making mistakes and this will leave you frozen in fear and worry.

Each of these experiences offers us an opportunity to look on it as an uninvited guest or a friend who is knocking at the door. We can open it up and ask it

What are you doing here?

How long have you been around?

What do you want?

From these questions you will get some indication of the teaching. You may well feel a negative response as that is a mirror of where your head is. So look for the reflection lesson. E.g.: You ask ‘what are you doing here?’ The answer comes to you ‘Cause you don’t listen’. So that can lead you on to what you may have been ignoring for a while that needs attention.

There are of course deeper soul and other life stories connected with these growth times and one can diver deeper as they unravel more of what the pattern is with a good practitioner.

Now if you choose to not open the door the energy of the cleansing and growing ways will build up energetically. If you don’t want to open the door fully, that fine. Choose to open it just a bit with a big rock to block the door from opening too much. Do what ever feels safe for you, just do it with loving INTENT.

Don’t be under the impression that you have to be in a continual state of happiness. We are all here learning the nooks and crannies of human life and all these growing and cleansing times are vital important to our souls passage here on earth.

Shamanism teaches that we are part of the whole. This includes the behaviors, the thoughts, the beliefs and parts of us that we struggle against.

58720_118237204897824_116949758359902_98523_7980238_n1The shamanic way is to welcome the energy that is opposing you. Ingest it, transform it and then let it go onward to the source.

This is the cleansing way to growth.





Regarding Contemporary Training: Due to re-prioritizing my life and finding balance I have made the decision to postpone the training until next year in order to offer the best of what I have.  My apologies to those waiting. I am still always available for one on one skype teachings and guidance.





The Divers and Surfers Of Emotion

underwater_shutterstock_98001155Many people who I refer to as ‘deep divers’ find it challenging to be around people who are ‘surfers’.  When observing the surfer, they seems to have the easiest ride as they lightly skim over the tops of the waves (emotions) and ride them back to shore.

To the observer it’s much like a beautiful moving meditation in line with the ocean.

Now lets really look at the easygoing surfer for a moment. On a practical level learning to surf takes quite a lot of skill and many many times they will fall off the board both as learners and when experienced.

They can get stuck in a rip, get slammed against sharp rocks, be stung by a blue bottle or box jellyfish, get hit with another board and get  knocked out, attacked by a shark, be pushed under by the ocean waves to the point that they feel as if they will never get out from under and sometimes hurt themselves so badly as to be left with great injuries.

So yes surfing does look easy from the shore, but the reality is it takes great skill 4069f7a237396b8d42e1b93b8f3c9bb0and a some courage to deal with all those possible fast occurring factors.

Deep divers in difference tend to see things from deep  under the ocean. They can feel bogged down, encounter sharks and other predators and get stung from pretty but nasty things hiding in among the nooks of the coral. If they find themselves pulled into going deeper, it gets really dark and isolating and they can come across some beings that are quite frightening and ones that create nightmares. The divers can feel overwhelmed and waterlogged due to the pressure of the water (emotions) surrounding them and at times feel so overcome with emotion that they can lose direction.

Whether you are a diver or a surfer. Both are fraught with challenges. Both offer great beauty and learning.

The surfer riding a good wave and barreling into an ice blue water tube to come out the other end still standing, is beyond elated and feels somewhat at one with nature.

c1477833480df73cae65906ddcb3ab15The diver who ‘knows’ how to breath under water with their gills open can swim with ease through the beautiful corals, be tickled by the colorful fish, enjoy watching the seahorses swim by, catch a slip stream to another adventure and be part of the incredible and brilliant wonders of the big blue.

Both the surfer and the diver are innate swimmers. Both have challenges to overcome when moving through the waters (emotions).

If you are looking for guidance in navigating the oceans of feelings, you might like to call upon some ocean medicine.

As a surfer you may like to call in a totem like the Dolphin, a being who is great at surfing and who can teach you how to navigate the waves of life and let stress go with the holding and then the popping of the breath as it comes to the surface.

As a diver you might like to call in the Whale totem who is a deep being of wisdom and dolphin-07is known for its gentleness, connectedness and the keeper of ancient knowledge. The whale’s tail can help direct you as sometimes under the sea its hard to know which way is up. They can burst through the surface of the ocean as well to gain some perspective and to have some fun. This being is great for support when one is diving into deep soul issues.

You may now say ‘Well I feel I am a bit of a diver and a bit of a surfer!’ Great! That’s good that you know that. So you can work with both totems and both perspectives depending on how you feel you are traveling.

5671efb00cfe320e01f89ba3437c442fI myself have always been a diver even when I was a child. I loved the feeling of diving in deep and the peace and quite of the blue. I always looked at things very deeply, probably too deep for some surfers I hung out with. But that’s my natural bent so to speak.

The dolphin medicine is beautiful and I have used its breathing techniques but when I feel into my soul it’s the Whale that comes forward.

You may find that a totem of a totally different ilk comes forward to be of assistance. This is your adventure, your journey, and your emotions. Whatever resonates let it be a support to you when you are being confronted with strong feelings. It may just give you that edge and offer a little more insight and support when you are feeling there is none.

Happy swimming!

Next post will be about the upcoming Online Shamanic Training due to begin Oct/November 2016



(c) Odette Nightsky 2016

The Pattern in the Path

af47fc4ab39e7322ea4bdc37bb2ae1e2We all arrive here to learn. Whether we learn through extremes or not, the learning is there, the opportunity for insight and growth is always there. Whether we take that opportunity will define our paths trajectory and the challenges we come across from experience to experience.

One of the most challenging aspects of being human I find, is the set patterns and programs that bind us to certain lessons.

Program definition.

Through our early experiences we learn how to get our needs met and how to behave often times via the environment and influences around us. This can be learning how to communicate so the adult knows we are hungry which may begin with crying and then evolve to asking depending on what programs you are taught. Then we go to school and we are taught another ‘learning program’ this may include not talking when you want and having a nap when you don’t want even though everyone has to. And then there is learning to share and include others or not. This is a sort of conditioning many are taught to supposedly make us able to adjust to dealing in the wider world. As we age more and more programs come flooding in, as do more responsibilities and energetic burdens depending on what family dynamic you are living in.

Example: Maybe you learn to be a pleaser at home because that way there is less upset and you fill an energy space between your parents so everything seemingly runs better. At school you seek to please to be befriended, maybe you even bring things to school to make people like you more.

The program is already deeply running and you haven’t even left high school yet!0f2eceae884c7152c3a65075d89d56a7

Then maybe its your first boyfriend that initially flatters you and then after he knows your hooked he starts to become a bit more aloof and not as eager and willing as he was when you were first going out. So the program kicks in again as it’s in your emotional and mental bodies memory hard drive. You find yourself wanting to please him more and more and with this he becomes less and less interested. You start to energetically ‘GIVE’ your power away to him via running the pleaser program. His program is not of the pleasure so much as the ‘poor me’. He was programmed to think that when things went wrong it was all his fault and that he is a failure. So when your ‘pleaser’ has had enough and starts to get irritated due to your default program is not working and goes un- acknowledged, a snake from the bottom of your belly crawls up your throat and lets out a hiss right between his eyes. He then defends, justifies  and  moves into his program of ‘poor me, I am a failure’ and shuts the door behind him while he licks his wounds. You then feel awful because you hissed at him and without knowing you have co-dependently absorb his program to add to yours. As a pleaser you have failed and now you also feel a failure. So you now are carrying two programs in your solar plexus, without really knowing how on earth you got there when you were only trying to be nice! Sheesh!!

This is really important to remember.

dadb541bf1413b4ef3cc5bd950996db4YOU ARE NOT THE PROGRAM.

You are experiencing the program that you have learned and that has been repeated over and over and over again and has been absorbed within your unconscious. It only rises up when it sees an action that reminds it of an old program that you are hooked into.

The pleaser program is set on ‘pleasing’ to make one feel worthy enough or good enough. ‘If I am pleasing enough I will be liked’.

So how can one begin to bring the light of the expanding sun into such a misty shadow of a program?

Its time to meet with the inner pleaser

I will share with you a little of my own walk so you may walk along with me.

(I do not teach from a pedestal, I teach from experience)

I put the computer down for a moment and asked my ‘inner child pleaser’ to come forward. I am quite surprised at my first impression. I see the bossy aspect of myself as a child.

(I was told I was quite bossy at home. Short, youngest and only girl syndrome trying to survive two big brothers, a military father and a mother although very loving didn’t get how to deal with a sensitive girl and a continuous run of new schools).

b013944cb21639cc6bc509d2c622adcfOn my second breath I see she is laden with piles of chocolate!

Then a memory floods in. As an army brat I travelled lots, so new schools and social adjusting was a regular initiation. I seemed to do fine in other cultures but when I came back to my own country I floundered. I took chocolate to primary school to bribe kids to like me.

When I ask my pleaser child what is it she wanted the answer is direct and clearly spoken.

“I wanted YOU to like me”

I was so busy trying be liked by others I had no understanding of how to like myself and like what I had to offer devoid of chocolate or pleasing, performing ways.

In the next breath I apologize to her and take her into my arms in spirit and hold her close saying to her that she is so very likable with or without chocolate. Then I feel the positive pleaser in her, her kindness, her caring and tender ways, and her deep sensitivity that actually ‘likes’ to be kind to others. This is the pleaser that is not needy or wanting for anything and genuinely giving from a centered heart space. The bossy aspect is a protective cover for feeling lack of power and as I embrace her more the bossy energy abets. Bless you my bossy little pleaser. Thank you for the lesson little one.

My inner child and all her aspects will always be my truth barometer. Sometimes due to relationship challenges and such I may not notice that they have taken center stage but if I am quiet enough. If I wait for my mind to stop analyzing every little inch of things and with deep breathing drop into my feelings then I can see that she is asking to be heard, validated and embraced. And that is how one can start to peel away the onion layers of unconscious programing.

00f7870e9ccf8c23bb63ad4ff0de7616Working with the inner child in your sanctuary in this way can offer you insights into your patterning and programing. Insights enough to choose to self empower rather than run the old tape again and again. It may take a bit of time and practice, but that dear kin is what we are here for. This is the school of life and learning is the important stuff. Learning with growth. One must be entwined with the other. Learning for learning sake brings lots of theories but when you add conscious growth to the mix, you will never be stagnant for long.

Take your inner child’s hand and look to the horizon.

It’s a journey of growth. Keep walking.



Odette Nightsky (c) 2016



The Difference Between ‘Hypnotic Past Life Regression’ & ‘Healing Other Lives.’


Artist: Caroline Maniere

I have often listened to clients who have said they have experienced past lives through either a psychic telling them, a flash in a meditation or on a drug induced trip, or a regression into a life with a regression therapist.

I often ask about that life and what they experienced in it. What I found is that there is not much healing of the life included in their experience. It’s a visit to a life, a look around at patterns perhaps that are similar to this life and then that seems to be it.

After years of exploring, having sessions in  past life and hypnotic regression and experiencing other lives during rebirthing training I still felt that knowing I was an American Indian or a Witch who was hung was not enough. I saw a pattern of standing up for those that cannot speak but no healing came from it. I was killed lifetime after life time for speaking out against those that were untrustworthy.

Before I left Australia for the UK. I had a past life regression session with someone and I was left carrying the grief of that life around for a good while until I found my soul training in ‘Contemporary Shamanism’ in Devon England.

You see I was trained differently and that has made all the difference to my calling.

My training was so much deeper than just a visiting exploration. What I learned was that journeying into other lives has little point unless one can heal the wounds from that life and access the gifts.

Let me share with you a real life story as an example.

I once journeyed a young priest in the making. (I know! Who would have thought that a young priest would be interested in Other Life journeys!) He came to see me due to being deeply conflicted whether to continue on the path of priesthood or to seek having a partner and a family. He arrived wearing the collar that a priest would wear. I thought how interesting at the time that a collar covered the throat chakra perhaps even blocked it. Anyway, I sat beside him guiding him through into non-ordinary reality till he found himself in another life. This life was of a Tibetan monk. He had arrived there as a child and been there for many years. Never knowing any other way of living or being. He was accepting of his life but felt like it wasn’t necessarily his choosing. As we moved through the life towards and through significant events it became clearer to him and more real. He felt deeply connected to the life more and more.

I then asked him to move to the time of his death. He saw himself being beheaded by a soldier in the Chinese army, along with many other monks who stood nearby. He remembers knowing and accepting he was going to die, feeling the metal sword moving through his throat and then quickly leaving his body.

af79caaa4cf4b34b37cded1ef6887130This is where there is significant difference is between Regression and Other Life Healing.

I asked him a few questions in reflecting back on his life and then we moved the whole of the spirit body to a neutral healing place of his choice.

There I asked him to look within the body and tell me what he saw. He saw parts of the sword embedded in his throat and his head was hanging on by a few veins or similar as it had not been fully cut off.

We called in spirit assistance and did what resonated with him in how to remove the metal fragments, re-attach the head and then deal with scaring. The metal went into a bucket of light (source), as did the broken scar tissue and bits of rust. His neck and head became naturally aligned and back into place. I guided him to look into the spirit body of that life and to see what feelings still resided, e.g. feelings of hopelessness and guilt at seeing other friends be killed and doing nothing to stop it etc. Which were willing cleared out of the body through a technique I use.

Then we looked at a very important aspect of the life in Tibet. What symbolized being a monk for him personally? It was his weathered robe and his Mala beads strewn around his wrist and hand. I asked him would it be Ok to now let go of that symbolism so he could have free will to choose his calling in this life rather than feel duty bound to it?

He was more than willing to let them go into the bucket of light. And as a Buddhist in that life, he understood that, attachment was not necessary.

What was left after some more clearing was a glowing light body without the wounding and the vows and promises embedded in it.

The light body then dissolved naturally into the source and he returned to this life, this body 703b05d31620bd157ff60d5907a29ae4(earth suit), and this current life soul journey.

He shared how much more peaceful and lighter he felt. How he felt free, really free to make the choice now rather than to feel if he didn’t somehow he would fail at what he thought he ‘must’ do.

I heard back and he had decided to take a year off from his studies and work part-time in a place connected with his faith but without the ‘program’ that had walked with him from that lifetime. I knew that whatever decision he made after that year would come naturally to him. My gut instinct feels he chose faith and family without the monastic celibate contract.

Other life work can be enjoyable, fascinating and healing. I do not consider myself a healer. I am a spiritual midwife and wound tracker who guides people to their own inner healing…. which if you really want to you, are capable of doing.

Why carry the burdens from another life? That may indeed lead to repeating the same lesson again and again without growth. When one cleanses the wounds, vows, and beliefs of other lives then one is completely free to choose what path one takes in this present one, gifts and all.






Spirit Flight. Leaving The Body Safely

s272369942643217425_p15_i1_w800Since I can remember I have had challenges staying centered and grounded inside my body.  A wonderful human vehicle I refer to as my EARTH SUIT.

It wasn’t until the day my shamanic teacher showed me what my spirit does when my emotions are too overwhelming and I begin to fragment, that I began to understand what was really going on.

Strong emotions like anger always frightened me as I recall from a very early age. I was so absorbent and sensitive I would pick up on the ‘charge’ the person leaked or suppressed when they were in discord. I still am a big sponge to a certain extent even though I am less frightened due a deeper insight of human emotions.

Anyway, my teacher was being (in my opinion) harsh to a student and I am very protective of the vulnerable so I spoke up. She then snapped at me and feeling insulted and attacked  I got up to leave the room. She called me back in a tone that triggered me deeply. I turned and let out my feelings in tears and told her in no uncertain terms that I will not be ‘told’ what to do.

‘If you want something, ask!’ I said with icy clarity.

She then softened and invited me to return to the seat in the room. By that time my legs had started convulsing on their own, something that had been happening on and off for many years when intense moments arised. I could not stop them no matter how hard I tried to calm down. My teacher then asked me to close my eyes. ‘Where is your spirit in relation to your body?’ Instantly I saw it had flown down the corridor and out the door into the gardens. I was very surprised that it was so far away.

My teacher asked if I wanted to call it back. I did. With strong intent and deep breathing I summoned it to return to me.  In less than 30 seconds my legs stopped shaking completely. This  was to be a huge intricate part of my medicine walk.

During that time I trained in many medicine ways yet chose to specialize in ‘Soul Retrieval’. On of my spirit names is ‘Wound Tracker’. I accompany people in tracking down lost, buried, stolen, misplaced aspects of themselves and bring them home cleansed and integrated and aligned within their earth suit.

This what I teach is my own personal lesson and recently I had 11700798_10206608017786736_3563734740894309672_nanother upgrade. Upgrades can be very difficult to integrate initially, and mine was no different.

I have recently had a run of what may be termed medically as ‘anxiety attacks’. I would rather refer to them as something like ‘Spirit Openings’ or ‘Earth Suit Upgrades’.  As my readers already know, I am not too fond of medically labeled straight jackets.

Either way there was definitely quite a crack and stretch going on that felt hard to breath through. For me it manifests as a feeling of being ‘Trapped’. That word kept repeating itself inside me. I relate it to ‘fight or flight’ pattern. What we do when we feel out of control. We either fight our way through it or fly as fast as we can to get the hell out of there.

I am not by nature a fighter as I find there are other ways to work out the bumps in life. So when I am feeling trapped I instinctively want to run…fly…move…escape the cage that is my earth suit and the situation that I have found myself in.

I can fly in my dreams within a blink of an eye yet in ordinary reality when my emotions peak I can’t wait to run from my body. If it wants to run too that’s great but generally it has to stay for some practical reason while the rest of me is flying out the door and beyond what I perceive as constriction.

7000This recent ‘upgrade’ came during a time of being in an atmosphere that was completely alien to me. Being somewhere where I felt I did not belong after spending time in another place where I also feel a stranger and not on home ground. Anyway, I was busy just trying to cope and do the best I could in the environment that was not me. What started to happen was old insecurities came bubbling up to the surface, I noticed them, observed them and just kept going. They increased day by day. I then went somewhere where I thought I would find peace but it was anything but peaceful and as I am highly noise sensitive this pushed me into ‘flight mode’ and the inner battle commenced. I was trying to convince myself I had to stay in my body even though I have recalled some time back saying to a client that was dissociating that it was ok to leave her body for a bit and then come back in when she feels ready. Somewhere in my panic I did not apply this to myself. As they say one teaches best what they need to learn.

I knew I needed to leave the place and my inner nurturer made sure all was organized. After a complete tear filled meltdown I knew I needed peace where I could do some inner work to stabilize my nervous system and adrenals and get to the core of why I was not coping. A young volunteer at the retreat place (which was so very noisy) said to me in a patronizing tone ‘You know you have to find the peace within you’.

Honestly at that moment the ‘fight’ was ready to jump over the counter and throttle her! Like I don’t know that!

I was already outside my body whilst trying my hardest to organize something ‘safer’ for myself. Empathy and compassion at times like these are paramount. Not pity, empathy. She didn’t have it even after I gently let her know for the one that may come after me. Her response was to smile blankly and make another patronizing remark. ‘Well I am glad to see you have finally calmed down’. Which just left me shaking my head. I was not angry, more saddened that she had no insight.

So finally I let go and made my way to somewhere I know I feel safe, nature surrounds me, I have privacy and space for my adrenals to slow down…and slowly the insights begin to appear. The lessons, the teachings come forward.

I went on a journey inward and at the end the elders came to me and showed me what was happening and why I sometimes find it so hard to be fully in the earth suit. The gift from the journey was remembering that it’s ok for me fly out when I feel the need; just remember how to come back in. They showed me how to practice this more and more. There is a certain way I fly out, a certain pattern I do in the sky and a flip and a curve to come back inside my earth suit and down into my belly that connects with the great earth belly womb of the mother. It’s like allowing my spirit ‘breathing time’ in the skies. I noticed the pull to get back in my body sometimes and let myself stay another breath of flight to extend the feeling just that little bit more. Now I feel the gift of a ‘spirit opening’ as I learn more about the intricate parts of the lesson.

Those who have been abused often find themselves trying to escape the body (earth suit), as it’s a learned and survivalist pattern of escape.

You might like to take a bit of time out each day and consciously fly out, manifest wings, be what every being that suits you, have some fun in the flowing air and then come back happily into your earth suit when you finish.

There is no sadness in returning as you can go out daily when it’s energetically appropriate. E.g. don’t be flying out while driving your kids to school while they are arguing and triggering your need for quiet. Wait till you have dropped them off and sit in the car and do it quietly for a few minutes before you drive again.

I am trusting that as I practice this daily, those moments of flight or fight will become less and I will not be battling to try to stay in my body so much and be able to move in and out at conscious will.

In my journey I was shown a beautiful moonstone. I took heed of the teachings and now I have one. I was also told to ingest blackberry for my adrenals. Note taken. Blackberries here I come.

We are all here at the school of earth life to learn. Learning never ends. It’s the journey that is the most important and the insights we gain from challenges along the way. It’s not the falling so much as the ability to get up and in the journey of resilience find that which enables us to bounce back.

32730722SoulRetrieval_Web-91ac2252I am re- remembering that I am free. I always have been. I just forgot the tool, the practice that assists when the earth suit becomes too limiting.

I trust that my lesson, my learning may be of benefit to you on your journey within and without.




The Little Deaths In Life

nielsen_eastofthesun13The shamanic path is sprinkled with what is referred to as ‘Little Deaths’. In traditional shamanism this would come by taking a plant medicine like Ayauasca named “ The Little Death”. This is due to going through an initiated rebirth of sorts where you transform, transcend and release.

However even without the plant medicine we face little deaths of sorts all throughout our lives.

Losing people we love through death, grieving for a broken relationship, seeing your child grow up and move away, losing ones home through natural disaster…. Just to name a few.

We also can experience ‘Little Deaths’ each time we confront and move through a great learning experience. Wounds tend to rise to the surface to be healed when we least expect it. Overcome by the loss we may have felt as a child that reapers when we are triggered by something similar in the present day can freeze us to the spot and leave us feeling like we are on thin ice while it is cracking under our feet. We want to run but are afraid.

Little deaths are part of life. Little deaths help us prepare for the main event of transcending our earth suits and moving into Great Mystery for whatever journey ones soul is destined to take.

Death is not the opposite of life. It is an intrinsic part of life. Such a pity thePat_Presley_06a western model of understanding did not prepare people for these experiences. The eastern model of understanding teaches this from the get go and although sorrow and grief can come, it is accepted as ‘part of’ the great journey of life. Something the western mindset would benefit from embodying. Not easy though when the program has been ingrained for so long, through out many generations, but important to imbue bit by bit if you are able.

In this way acceptance of deeper losses ‘Little Deaths’ can be greeted with less of a battle and less denial.

Now this may sound way too simple…. but humor me for a moment.

Stand in front of the mirror. Take a deep breath out and say for example:

“I feel really sad today”


“I feel really lost today”


“I feel it’s too much to handle”

And then take another deep breath out while looking into your eyes. Stay there and focus on your eyes for a good long moment.

Now take your left or right hand (which ever feels comfortable for you) and start tapping your thymus chakra. This is the point between your throat chakra and your heart chakra. (You will know when you tap the right spot, as it feels comforting)

Start tapping it repetitively with your fingers, nice and firmly while consciously breathing deeply and slowly in and out (emphasis on the out breath).

Let go of the struggle in ‘trying’ to cope for a few minutes.

If tears come, let them flow.

If fear surfaces, allow it space to be seen.

If anger comes let it be accepted as a natural reaction.

Inner-Child-healing-If you are hard on yourself via your patterning, think of how you would comfort a child when they are feeling deep sadness or anger in reaction to loss.

One need not say ‘its going to be ok’ because that statement is a false promise. But one can VALIDATE the feelings that arise. ‘Yes you do seem sad’. ‘It’s ok to be sad’. Acceptance of ‘what is’ can be hugely comforting.

The great struggle in death is not death itself it is ‘the struggle’ in avoiding it.

Its natural to feel the emotions that ‘Little Death’ times can bring. Really it is.

In the Medicine Wheel the west is the direction of letting go and the bear is a known totem toLg063 call upon when needing comfort and support, as the bear knows how to self heal.

Little deaths are important and have value. They are little transformers of life. The transformation may be really uncomfortable but in accepting it as it is it will lighten the load and make the transition easier to move through.

Note for taking care of the earth suit nervous system: There are some things that assist in regulating the nervous system and general well being for women (I cant speak for men) Shatavari root: otherwise known as the Queens herb is wonderful for hormonal balance. Vitamin B6 and 12, rescue remedy and recommended herbs for the adrenals.

May your little deaths be viewed as part of the journey of your soul here on earth.

May you learn to be more gentle with what arises, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem.

We are all on the same journey.