Its really easy, too easy to get thrown off ones path. Peoples opinions, judgements and influences can pull you every which way.
I can like anyone else, get pulled off the path to a degree, and in reaction I find myself getting in a mind muddle, unconsciously experiencing other peoples emotional influences in my energy field and feeling quite low mood wise.
When working specifically with spiritual or psychic influences I’m on to it and know how to clear things and bring things into balance, but admittedly when it comes to general human interactions, I sometimes forget the impact of another persons energy on mine and what I can absorb being the sensitive being that I am.
When I get the warning signs, I know its time to turn inward and recalibrate with my soul essence.
When I lived alone it was a lot easier as I would just close the doors, windows, phone etc, turn in and reboot. I would let people know so they wouldn’t worry and my friends would refer to me going into my cave.
You could even compare it to how men need to be in their cave for a time.
Not all women need to emotionally share in comparison. Some women like me, need their own space to reflect as well, maybe not a cave as such, but similar. We need our quite reflective time too!
Its an opportunity to walk inside, nourish and realign with ones inner knowing, ones inner truth devoid of outside influences.
No longer living alone, I do find it challenging, to process with constant interruptions on top of work that needs attention. And the freedom fighter in me occasionally wants scream FREEEEDOM! in reaction. Owning my inner warrior is important and listening to their needs, paramount.
Until I get a good chunk of space to myself (It takes me a while to fully wind down so a few weeks is ideal), what I can do, what I am able to do right here, right now, is spend little pockets of time in reflection within my inner sanctuary and my writing in my journal. Honestly I would be lost without the benefits of both.
Writing in my journal teaches me about myself. Not by reading it, by allowing my inner dialogue full unedited expression. I may start out by simply writing my reactions but as I continue without any need to correct, or judge, I find that my sense of authentic truth finds it way and my perspective changes from reaction to realization. It brings me back to my own inner truth, warts and all and then the insight and compassion kicks in. From there I can move into a meditative state and do what ever my soul calls me to do, be that simply being, journeying, or becoming soft with my breath. Honest expression and inner nourishment leads me to the flow of inner knowing.
Sometimes the best person to unpack things with is myself. I do get a lot from sharing with others being a woman, but I also value that inner retreat of reflection, where I can come back to my authentic connection with my soul that is connected to source.
Beyond mind, beyond feeling, way beyond belief, there is knowing. Knowing to me is inline with the middle path. It has no pull one way or the other. Its at peace in the middle, beyond the duality of yes and no, right and wrong, good or bad, like or dislike etc. It simply IS.
In the path of the Tao there is an expression Wu Wei. I learned it while doing Qigong many years back. The meaning of Wu Wei is ‘Effortless action’. Or as Alan Watts would say, ‘The art of not forcing’. The physical way I learned it before the philosophy of Taoism was taught, was standing with my legs apart hip wide, my feet firmly planted in the earth (roots) and being able to be move in any direction from the waist up (trunk) as I swung my arms around(branches) I was relaxed and ready at the same time. It doesn’t matter what comes, or from what direction, I am in a relaxed and ready state. That’s when I feel a real tangible resonance with the state of ‘knowing’ feeling relaxed, centered and yet ready for anything.
As you can see in the brackets above, I often see where the symbolism of the tree fits into my path. I view my body as a living tree in ways. So the position of Wu Wei connects me to my natural alignment with the tree energy. My legs are the roots of earthly connectedness, my torso the trunk of core stability and my arms the branches of flexibility. I become the tree that adapts to natures constant changes but stays connected and earthed. I find my way back to this space of relaxed knowing after journaling and spending time within. In writing this I have an instinctive urge to get up and do the movement of Wu Wei.
And so I did! In doing it I would like to add that I began after positioning my feet to sway a little with my arms and my knees, this way and that, and then slowing down I slowly came back to the center and stopped, which naturally dropped into the present Wu Wei space. Quiet, nourishing and empty yet also full.
From that a inner knowing arises, not of the ego, simply as sense of being, knowing, connecting beyond the mind and expectations of myself or anyone else’s influence. This is where all the opinions of others fall away and I can just be present an in alignment with my own sense of authentic truth.
May you know yours.