Disowning the Dark

If you knew that the dark didn’t always represent evil or malice

would you be less afraid?

When I was a child I was terrified, absolutely terrified of the dark, mainly because I felt the lacking of my ‘sight’. Even without sight though, I could still feel things so easily. Things other couldn’t. Was it may imagination or my intuition, I was too young to know or even question. I just reacted. Usually by protecting my back in some way, as it always seemed to come from behind me, the fear that is…running up my spine

I had a reoccurring dream over quite a few years where I would be walking in the moonlight through a gate at night into the garden of someones house. There was no one to be seen, but a deep sense of foreboding fear was acute. The quiet of the night even under a blue colored moonlight, disturbed me. It was too quiet. Something was in that house, inside those dark windows beyond the verandah that I stood near. Regardless of how many times the dream repeated itself and still to this day can see it clear as day, I never found out any more about it and I had never been in a garden like that as a child nor remembered a house like it. The not knowing was the main issue. If we view it from a Jungian perspective, the house represents the inner psyche and I was standing outside of mine, afraid of what was inside, not knowing what was in there. The not knowing of my inner self, the fear of the unknown, which often happens in the dark, you have no sight, you cant see, you don’t know. My adult self now in difference knowing what it knows, would walk through the garden and into the house and says ‘hello’ and interact and clear the way to what needs to be brought back into balance

In new age circles there is a lot of talk about staying in the light and raising ones vibration. I am all for raising ones vibration but staying in the light instantly switches me to viewing a dualism mindset. One or the other, the good or the bad, the devil or god. Our inner light will never be sustainable unless we balance it with the understanding of the dark.

The dark is the FEMININE. The MASCULINE is the light. The light can be unbalanced just as much as the dark. When new agers say do not give any attention to the dark they are disowning the feminine and the ability to be more whole. One can be blinded by the light so much that they can no longer view the picture clearly and lose empathy for those lost in the shadows of their own psyche.

The dark is simplest form is the unseen and the unknown. When you face the unseen it can be seen and brought into balance. You can use the light to do that, like bringing a candle into the dark to shine a light on what needs to be seen, but not to blind you from what’s waiting to be acknowledged.

In shamanic lore, the darkness is of equal importance as is the light. To understand what someone is dealing with emotionally often needs to be hunted down in the darkness of the psyche so it can be seen and acknowledged and healing can take place for the benefit of all. In Chinese Medicine the balance of the Yin and Yang is of paramount importance. In Buddhism, one doesn’t ignore the darkness, one observes it and in Tibetan Buddhism, one then negotiates and works with it via compassion.

I finally overcame my fear of the darkness by having no other choice but to face it both internally and externally. Once I understood the dynamic internally the external was much easier to overcome. Internally I had to face my fear of the ‘unknown’ which lead me to the known.

When understanding the darkness as the feminine and the moon representing wisdom, intuition birth, death and spirituality, it helped me understand that if I turned my back on the darkness due to fear I would not be able to go deeper in experiencing growth in the areas of wisdom, intuition, etc.

Facing the darkness came via shamanic journeying. It was much like going on an adventure, but contained and with a guide that I felt safe with. I dived into trigger issues, patterns of behaviour, lives that were not pleasant and faced feelings and beings that normally would have scared me witless. But I did it in a way that to me was enjoyable. I guess it helped that I am a very curious being and like a detective I want to find out more. I have always been interested in how the human psyche works and facing the darkness in me was driven by that.

Did I think I would get swallowed up by the darkness? At times, absolutely. However the more I said yes to facing the uncomfortable stuff the easier it became. I didn’t just dive into it without a parachute. I learned mindfulness, established sanctuary, spirit animals and more to stabilize my psyche so I had the courage and inner support to do it. And those tools were like a backbone that held strong no matter what came my way. And believe me some spine tingling scary stuff came my way. I had to look into heavy issues that I had blocked in my memory, deal with invading entities, horrid negative thought forms and other lives where some were just heartbreaking to be witness to and more. But in facing all the unseen world and clearing it from my present life, I felt so much lighter and freer. I raised my vibration naturally. Clearing inner debris does that.

Now the darkness is a natural part of me, not disowned in any way. I still work on aspects of me that are not balanced and can get out of whack. Although I am much more forgiving of myself nowadays and that is due to owning feelings that were shut in the dark for ages. We are all a work in progress to find balance. People are often told by leading psychologists to embrace and take responsibility for ones emotions. There is a need for it especially in a world where emotions have become very out of whack. The imbalance in the world right now is pretty huge and its going to take a lot of re-balancing, and we can help by working on our own sense of balance between our inner light and darkness.

We are the starlight that meets the daylight beyond dualism


5 thoughts on “Disowning the Dark

  1. Thank-you, Odette, for bravely sharing what you’ve discovered by entering the dark house with light and compassion. Blessings upon you too, good Friend.

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