When we arrive out of our cocoon and into the light of humanity, we experience what it is like to be ‘in’ the world. We get tugged in all sorts of directions via the need for nourishment and support both externally and internally. How this is responded to or reacted to defines much of the way we view and deal with life.
Of course there are other factors, like what we bring in with us on a biological cellular level, gene wise, other life wise etc. None the less what we are taught or influenced by when we are small impacts on how we manage things emotionally as we get older.
Women (in general) have a natural predisposition to care, serve and nurture others. Many have been taught both through society and parental expectations that it is a role that they must fulfill in some way. I remember not long ago talking to a Greek woman at a bus stop and her first question to me was ‘Do you have children? Are you married?’ In the media today, if a woman is single for too long or does not have children she is perceived as somehow faulty.
Many women have been told and taught that they should not be selfish. This has halted many towards nourishing within or really knowing how to go about starting that process. Just to be clear indulging is not the same as nourishing.
I have met women who have gone to multiple workshops, many yoga classes, do all sorts of therapy etc.…but still there is a lack and an emptiness within because they are still somehow seeking the nourishing connection outside themselves within the workshop experience/participants or the in connection with the therapist or the group class or getting off on the high that these things bring initially. It’s not about the choice of courses or the chosen workshops or therapies it’s about the deeper motivation, the hunger and the longing for nourishment.
Men (in general) are taught to be strong, courageous and brave. They are not taught to self nourish and this leads to many having a crippling sense of low self-esteem, shame and rejection. They are left feeling depressed, in a state of self loathing and don’t step up when they are needed to. They are weakended both emotionally and spiritually. Men have never really known how to self nourish either. Instead they are locked inside an inner prison. Trapped inside a place where there negative thoughts swallow them up.
In today’s times we see more selfishness and more narcissism than ever before. The ‘somebodies’ have their boats, there huge mansions, their private jets, their label clothes, bling, shoes wardrobes etc.
This is what has been mistaken for inner nourishment. This is what the young see as THE way to be nourished. When I have asked young folk what they want in life, many answer….MONEY. That is what they see as the way to fulfillment. If they don’t have that they see themselves as failures.
On my Facebook page many of my posts refer to ways one can nourish the self from within because I see such a massive lack of it in people.
It ‘wants’ things much like a child that you take to the shop and says ‘Can I have this?, I want this, can I have this? Or another example might be the child that has way too many presents every time their birthday or Christmas comes around and they rip the present open and then quickly move onto the next without hardly acknowledging it or those who gave it to them.
They have a bent sense of meaning in what being nourished represents and their parents are just trying to keep up with the demands. The child becomes addicted to what they ‘want’ much like the rich reality lot that the media loves to shove down TV lover’s throats. This is what many of the youth today equate with what they want and what they MUST have in order to survive in society.
Sitting in a luxurious apartment with all the money in the world, all the bling you need and all the connections you need to make you socially acceptable, is a far cry from inner nourishment. It’s narcissistic JUNK FOOD!!
We do have a choice in what we want to feed and nourish on a regular basis.
The spiritual self and the child within, is in need of nourishment. It needs sustenance that won’t come in the shape of anything money can buy.
Feed the Ego or the Spirit.
I am not saying become all pure, righteous and mung bean about it. Balance your needs and wants but choose your spirit nourishment as a priority. That’s were the feeling of contentment, peace and compassionate self-love arises from.
- Journal your self talk each day for a few minutes. See how much you fill your thoughts with positive or negative statements. This is your daily intake of inner food. What are you feeding yourself? And how can you be happier if you are feeding yourself junk food filled with crap. Then be pro active and jump into some options to change your thinking eg. Mindfulness, CBT, Voice Dialogue, EFT (tapping) to name a few.
- Work on building your inner sanctuary within through the shaman’s tree, to a place where you feel safe to be nourished. Where your totems, guides and kin can hold space and guide you. In that place of sanctuary, begin to invite your inner child to come forward. Listen to them, accept whatever mood they are in and be the one who nourishes them. (This automatically nourishes you from within)
Spend time in nature, away from others, take space to feel who you are away from other people’s energetic influences. Soften your mind, walk down to your heart and breathe the medicine of nature into your being.
If you feel you would like more guidance in how to self nourish and move beyond the blocks you can find me at my website.
Be Gentle With Yourself