In my younger years it seemed vital to understand and question everything. There was a constant barrage of questions but with little digestion. Like a shovel I just kept digging for more.
The reality is my soul wanted to dive deeper than the mind and the questions were my entry point. I wanted to move beyond the mind, beyond who I thought I was within my mind. I wanted to keep opening doors and different landscapes.
It loved theories, philosophies, ideas, concepts and debate. I also loved being right, winning, and fed off judging and critical thinking both healthy and unhealthy.
I tested my mind against drugs both natural and not. I tested my mind against many therapies to see how they might crack the mind or move beyond it. I went out with men that had very strong controlling mind programs and tried to crack them beyond their beliefs with little success. I tended to scare them off. I came across as an interrogator but it wasn’t to bring them down, I was just plain curious to see further beyond both with them and myself.
My mind seemed to feed off fear, anxiety and drama. It had a never-ending desire to be entertained and it didn’t care whether it was beneficial or not. It just wanted to be fed. It wanted attention.
Funnily enough it happened on my last ever Vipassana meditation retreat. My 11th. Spirit brought me to a place where my mind snapped in battle due to an instructor that was giving me an ultimatum to choose Vipassana or Shamanism…. From her puritan perspective I was not allowed to embrace both.
This was the teaching to tell me that the battle was finally over.
I had chosen beyond the no mind. I had chosen the soul. I was going to perceive things from a deeper place from that moment on. It would be through the Soul prodding rather than the machinations of the monkey mind. But I was not going to throw out any benefits that meditation had taught me, those tools are a blessing and have done much to empower my ability to witness without attachment.
The mind as a tool can be a great benefit but as a master it was all consuming and the rest of my needs had to stand in line. Through my mind I had created chronic fatigue and IBS to name just a few. Both I no longer endure due to realizing that the core issue was how I managed my mind and the stress that it created in distracting me from learning how to nurture and nourish my soul self.
So to recreate the mind into a workable tool, it needed a purpose. It needed a mission. It likes to work. So I had to find the protector a new job where it would feel valued.
Contemporary Shamanism offered me the diving equipment to dive further into the ocean of the unconscious and super conscious.
It offered the guidance and teaching of how to breath under water (the unconscious) and to respect the mind by giving it an important job of keeping track of where we are going and taking notes for further research, writing and analyzing.
This is where the conscience willing relationship of the imagination and the protective mind was declared.
One of the first test with the mind is to learn to let the imagination go wherever it wants freely without thinking about right and wrong or true or false….just simply take the imagination on an adventure and let the mind observe, simply observe.
One who is unable to let this happen is fearful of being out of control, of literally ‘losing their mind’. They have a survivalist need in protecting the created beliefs that have been programmed into the personality.
This for example can steam from an arrested frozen inner child who has grown up under fearful emotional control. Fear is all-encompassing and they have a great issue with what is perceived as right or wrong.
Growing up for many means putting the fantasies, dreams and fairies into a box made for memories and adjusting to perceived earth suit life. Remember that in this box is often thrown in a very important tool –Trust.
One needs trust in order to let the mind take a back seat.
When we begin school we are automatically plugged into the matrix (collective program) helmet that says ‘this is how to be here, this is how you must assimilate all information”.
Many have adhered to this programing to fit into society and even if we rebelled each in our own way, much of the collective mind set is – STUCK in the program handed down by the authorities – may that be via laws, teachers, parents, church, school, schoolyard etc.
Others ran from the system to seek different kinds of thinking, something that felt more natural. Unfortunately a great number were led to other pseudo mind programs that said. “This is the better helmet to wear.” Even though it may be adorned with flowers and sweet smelling oil the helmet is still attached underneath with exclusive thinking rights.
So what really is a program and how do you get rid of the matrix helmet?
Many may read a weekly guide to tell them what they are watching on TV this week. Your collective TV program is available to you and you can change channels but the program is set. Unless IT directs otherwise. You can turn it off but when you come back it will be inline with the current programming order. You have been taught by the media what is acceptable and what is not. And you will then automatically seek to compare yourself to what is seen as acceptable.
You may have been programmed by your parents behavior to constantly seek out to better yourself or achieve what they didn’t and you do all that you can to achieve that sense of what is perceived as happiness because somewhere in you there is a craving to be accepted into this program. No achievement will ever satisfy, as it is not you soul story so much as it has been PROGRAMMED TO BE YOUR STORY. No matter what workshop you go to or how many expert healers you go to in order to heal the wound, you still find yourself craving for the ultimate acceptance, something that you cannot seem to find. In all the visits to the therapists, your mind is still protecting the program that has been inbuilt.
You may be so achievement orientated that you avoid dealing with your deep personal issues within relationship and due to this you leave the therapist just before real deep work can be explored. You mind says it’s protecting you (that therapist is just too….) but your soul knows the self-sabotage program is at it again. So of course you take on to study another even more prestigious qualification as that is the only way you know to cope with life. The program of being a high achiever serves to keep the mind busy and distracted. But after every achievement you are left with longing of something that never feels fulfilling.
You may have been brought up with a strong religious programming that a woman is a martyr and due to that you are always reluctant to take a risk for yourself due to feeling that you are not worthy of the time. The program of guilt has become so strong that you only know how to respond as a Martyr and the thought of giving to yourself without being a martyr and feeling guilt seems impossible. Martyrs and guilt are first cousins. So it appears easier to stay a Martyr, as there is a comfort and somewhat of an unconscious payoff in its self-sacrificing program
You might be very fearful that if you do move beyond your mind you will never be able to return and the fear of getting lost in emotions and deeper feelings leaves you incredibly resistant. People talk about madness akin to losing the mind. You don’t loose the mind in madness you get stuck in it without a compass or map.
You see the mind is the greatest tool we have but many are still letting it run them like a master with a whip. The Matrix helmet is not that difficult to remove. We have just been subconsciously told that programs are permanent and that guy called GOD is the only one allowed to pull the plug so to speak.
The mind can be circumvented to take you out of the Matrix of programming if you give it good instructions. It likes a job. It likes to be working and it needs a challenge.
Firstly recognize where in your life the programs are running.
‘Ah that’s a program!’ It’s not good or bad or right or wrong. It’s just a learned program of behavior.
Now I want you to imagine if you haven’t already, the matrix helmet attached to your head. People will see it in all different ways. See how locked into your skull it is.
Now use creative visualization and begin to remove the helmet. As the eyes close and the breathing is full…..ask
- How long has it been there
- What does it look like
- How can you remove it
- With what?
- See it dissolve into a bucket of light. Check for rust marks and shards. Use any imaginary tools of non-ordinary reality but just make sure all that you use needs to be returned to the source (bucket of golden light) and that the head should look natural and healthy when all is done. Use your breath, which equals your will to move things on.
(For further guidance please look to the workbook @ the website or a Skype consultation with me)
Treat your mind as a tool and use it to further your jump down the rabbit hole. It has always been like a sidekick that goes everywhere anyway so now consciously ask it to join you on the road of discovery and it will be more like a clever assistant that can be used to be of help.
I am going on a journey, a deep journey. I would love it if you took notes along the way just in case I forget anything and when I return please forward me the relevant information. While I am there you will be in neutral but you will remember everything. Thanks mind, see you soon.
(c) O. Nightsky