Earlier this month I posted a quote with a picture related to the soul making an agreement before they incarnated into this particular life. There were many people in agreement but a number of others felt challenged by that concept as they did not believe a soul would willingly choose to be a victim of such suffering.
Philosophers and those on a spiritual path have been debating this concept for centuries. There are many books written on reincarnation and the souls destiny for those that want to dive deeper. I am not here to preach the right way to view things, rather I am writing to share how I came across this point of view and why I myself believe this to be true. Each person must be able to sit comfortably with their truth and each person’s truth is right for them.
So this is my experience of discovery.
As a very young child I traveled with my family to live in a third world country. I distinctly remember the beggars at the window of the car. The young boy with one arm leading the blind old lady, the man pushing himself along on a piece of wood with makeshift wheels because he had no legs. It made a huge impact on my psyche. I was a deeply empathic child and felt the trauma of others or any animal in pain. Not an easy child to understand being born into a middle class conservative background where emotions where not given too much time.
I was also absolutely terrified of the dark. What happens when there is an absence of light drew me to investigate the shadows and how to understand it even more. I tried Christianity for a minute or two thinking that it would have a few answers for me, but I just could not buy the concept of heaven and hell and the devil and sin. I personally felt it was a bare-faced lie that made no sense. My parents did not tell me what to believe in this regard at all. They were believers in god in hard times but not in religion as such. I will always be grateful that they encouraged me and supported me in my own path to faith. I was clearly searching for some kind of understanding of why I was here feeling like a total stranger on a strange planet.
To be honest I don’t ever remember being told about reincarnation. I believe I came into this life knowing it. As much as I am very esoteric I am also a healthy cynic and like the practical aspects of the spiritual path. In some way it has to make logical sense to me.
In my latter 20’s I became unstuck and moved through a very traumatic spiritual emergence that was laced with potential psychotic influences. Madness. What a scary ride it was. I could not make sense of what was going on. It’s like everything I was terrified of when I was young was coming to get me. All the fears of the dark, of the unseen, the ghosts etc had my address and they were not going to let me rest until they had trapped my soul for good.
I desperately struggled through (and I do mean struggle) to the point of travelling across the world (not knowing why really) and found myself in a house being tormented by continual night terrors.
Soon I would find myself enrolling in a course that involved re-incarnation journeywork and contemporary shamanism. This course and what I experienced would change my life and direction. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into but my inner curiosity lead me in that direction right at the last minute and I took the plunge.
In the first journey to another life I remember the night before thinking that I might go to Africa as I had a deep connection to the culture. I was not travelling very well mentally but being an actress from seven to twenty seven with a will of iron when I need it, I can pull off the functional face when required
When I moved into the life where I needed to heal, I found myself as a man being dragged into the insane asylum called Bedlam in England (which previously I had never heard of). I have written about this is my book ‘The Bridge Between Two Worlds. The Shamans View of Schizophrenia & Acute Sensitivity”. What I saw in that life was a revelation.
From the moment I became unwell different messages came to me both within and from people I would come across and subjects I would research. I didn’t know what they meant individually but I wrote them all down and found after this session in Bedlam all the information that I had collected had a purpose and in time became a book to offer guidance and support to others.
More past lives were journeyed to and one after the other had a common theme of suffering. I often found myself the victim of horrific slow deaths and the longer I trained I also experienced the darker side of myself as the abuser. More often than not I was killed due to speaking out on behalf of those that have no voice in subjects that were not allowed to be talked about.
All the writings, research and experiences I had been collecting were unconsciously being weaved together without me really realizing that all that I was learning even through the terror and the un-wellness, had a purpose. The more I became really honest with myself about who I was under the survival performers mask the more l was able to accept being here on earth, the harshest place I have ever experienced.
The question of insanity that was plaguing me disappeared without me even realizing it. I was on the razors edge of reacting to what was happening or responding and I am so glad the responding won out. When I look back I can see why it was all meant to be and why I do what I do now. It became the journey of my authentic self being actualized.
To empathize with someones suffering is beyond agony. This is a quality I was born with. Empathy. Deep deep empathy that can crush my heart. So to be able to survive the pain I see in working with clients and what I empathize with throughout the world I need to personally remember that first and foremost they are a soul. A soul that exists beyond the body, the mind, the emotions… the ego.
Definition of the word ‘Soul’
A spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal.
There is another shamanic journey called ‘Between Lives and Death’. In this journey one moves to a time just before you chose to arrive into the world into this incarnation. I have journeyed many people in this regard (they are fully aware and participate, as we journey together with me as their guide) Each person has recalled their agreement before incarnating. Each person has found insight in why they chose, what they chose and all of them refer to the particular challenges they have come down for. Of course quite a few felt sad to leave where they were and not too keen on what they had to experience but not one of them was unwilling for more than a short time. There is a soul agreement to learn about certain aspects of being human on their own individual soul path.
For example. Think of someone perhaps like a lover you have met and from the first instant you are sure you know them. They are beyond familiar and you may even flash to other times when you have been with them in other lives. Don’t you think there has been some kind of agreement to meet again to peel away more layers of lessons you both may have together? Families and tribes often reincarnate together in different roles to relearn or release what they need to unlearn. Many who are partners now have been previous enemies . Many who are enemies now have been father and child or mother and sister. You may attract the same soul many times in different lives and roles to release karmic patterns.
If I look to the many lives I have experienced I have learnt such a great deal from the suffering and all that suffering has brought me to where I am today to do the work I do and to speak out in the name of those that are sensitive and afraid to share different ways of finding balance.
Look at the people in the world that have become great advocates after experiencing trauma and or tragedy. Those that move to change laws due to suffering, create charities and empower others to have hope. Like the life of Waris Dirie who born in Somalia and viciously circumcised as a toddler, chose to walk through the desert at thirteen years old rather than be given to an arranged marriage with an elder. She had never been exposed to anything that would encourage her to think differently or for herself. Since then she has thrived as a model and most importantly an advocate against the mutilation of women. Or another who I read years ago and wish I could find the book, of a woman born to such depravity, abuse and cruelty who half blind found a way through sheer resilience to be re-parented as a young adult by a couple who felt a bond with her and she became one of the most profound shamanic healers. There is a road out of suffering but we don’t know how long that road is. Each person is unique in that regard.
Recently I supported a situation to do with a sexually abused child. This story rips at my heart and the injustice can fill me with rage. When I move inside to seek guidance I am motioned to see the ‘Soul Story’ rather than the personal story. I am prodded to see this child as a soul who has chosen this path in some way for herself to learn what her soul needs to learn whatever that may be in order to balance her souls journey out. I also see that I have a part to play in doing all I can to support her path in life, in whatever way I can no matter how small I might think it to be. There is a reason why I am a part of her life.
Within religion when someone dies too young people say ‘God has a plan’ and I think they say that in hope that the god they believe in has a better idea than the cruelty they see. We all need to be able to adjust to the tragedies of the worlds suffering in some way to get a better understanding of our own beliefs. I’m not sure about the theory of a gods plan as much as I am sure there is a continuation, a profound evolvement, a bigger unravelling. Nature is chaos, yet nature has a continual rebirth of life and as we are a part of nature, we too are born, grow, and die to be rebirthed again.
Reincarnation makes sense to me personally and within the understanding of reincarnation the idea of the souls choice to incarnate into particular lessons with others seems logical.
I personally don’t believe the soul can see everything its coming down for but it understands that the lesson or learning is something that they have agreed to beyond the concepts of right and wrong and the ego’s desires.
I may have lived many lives and I may continue to do so but in this life I chose this particular story, this personality and this name. Yes, even when I was little I couldn’t relate to my birth name at all so when I was 24 it was changed to something that resonates with my soul. My life has been a tale of returning to my authentic self in just about every area. I feel responsible for my life and my choices rather than feeling a victim to my circumstances. I am now well aware of why I chose my path of exploration in this life and for what reason. I still have lots to unravel, learn, re remember but my soul had a destination and now I am inline with my destination I can actually say I have become more deeply content with my walk.
If this subject interests you and you find yourself questioning some of what I share, investigate more. Read books on hypnotic regression, astral traveling, near death experiences and re-incarnation. They all have a familiar truth to the continuation of energy and the understanding of the souls journey. I honestly don’t think you can believe in re-incarnation without accepting that the soul knows more than you give it credit for in the grand scheme of growth, evolution and the natural cycle of nature.
Blessings on your discoveries.
(c) Copyright O. Nightsky 2014