One of the most common subjects that I offer guidance on is boundaries. Depending on who you talk to, the word ‘boundaries’ can have different meanings. Some see boundaries as borders of safety and respect, others see boundaries as walls and limitations that they are determined to break down. Being sensitive, you need boundaries to contain you as we are natural empaths both emotionally and psychically. Boundaries but not armour.
I was brought up with healthy boundaries. On a practical and physical level I felt totally safe. I did not feel controlled or trapped in any way. I was given space to discover, to grow and find my own way both in religious matters and interests. I always looked forward to coming home after school. I was taught manners and respect for others as I would have them respect me and to this day those tools have been a great asset to my life. However on a psychic level it was a different story.
I didn’t come from parents that knew all about things that go bump in the night and how to get them out of my aura. They were not practiced in how to deal with the astral world and I’m not sure I knew how to explain how I felt in regards to my sensitivity and what I experienced on a psychic level. I tend to feel people before they even talk and I feel what they are carrying energetically and what they have disowned. I did not have any clue how to articulate that and even if I did Im not sure they would have got what I was trying to say. In psychology they ask you what is your first memory. Mine was at 3 years old and being left overnight in a hospital in Singapore for an eye operation (I was born with a shaking interned left eye) in those days parents could not stay with their children. During the night I was invaded by discarnat spirits and thought forms of others who had been there. As a young child you can only imagine how the terror of that night impacted on me for years to come. I was of course always terrified of the dark after that, to the point even in my teens I would go down to the garage at night to get the ice-cream out of the second fridge and I would force my mother to stand on the balcony and keep talking to me all the time…I would run up the stairs feeling something on my back. I had other psychic invasions in the years to come but more about that at another time.
Many people who have been abused physically, psychically and emotionally as children will be in a challenge to define their boundaries. All of my clients are learning how to heal in this regard. An upset will often come because of feeling invaded by something or someone on an energetic basis. When you feel invaded you automatically do what you can to protect yourself, whatever you can. The automatic response is to go into crisis control as you would have done when you were young. I thought the sheet over my neck would protect me from vampires (the symbolism of parasites sucking your energy), and no it didn’t really work but it was enough illusion of comfort to get me to sleep at times.
All who are abused in one way or another either flight or fight or both. I like many others took flight and left my body to be somewhere else when it was all too much. That somewhere else however was out in the astral floating around pushed into the disowned realms of the unconscious.
So later in life when something happens that is invasive we tend to connect to that original fearful child and do what it did to cope.
- Leave the body
- Get stuck in the mind program of battle of who is right who is wrong
- Get angry and protective like a warrior
- Lose connection to the earth and grounded spiritual guidance
- Isolate and shut down
Sensitive folk with spider web boundaries tend to attract people who unconsciously have very little respect for boundaries at all. I certainly have had my share of them. It’s important to remember that these people are your best teachers to give you a gauge of where your boundaries are at. If there is someone in your life invading them they are triggering that child in you who now goes into automatic pilot to protect themselves. Other energies can only invade when you are open to invasion in the first place.
So how do you stop getting invaded?
Firstly stop leaking your own energy. Lets say for an example that you meet someone you are very drawn to energetically. You bond with them, your empathise with them, you listen, connect on a psychic level. Then in a while that person and you have a challenge on an emotional level and you start feeling invaded by their vibration and your authentic self is disrespected. Can you see that you leaked your energy in the first place maybe by giving so much of your own vibration to them? So its important to get your spirit back to your body, to take back that which you gave away. No one has power over you unless you have given them some of yours in the first place.
It all goes back to that child and what they had to do to cope and what they felt was lost when they were invaded. Inner child work, soul retrieval and recapitulation in this regard can be life saving as it teaches you how to reconnect with your authentic self that is connected to the whole.
When you respect your own boundaries others will respect them too.
I learnt very early on that being a pleaser made things go more smoothly but in doing that I tended to give myself away to others and their energy. I could tell how much I was carrying other people’s energy as I would stand in the shower and not think about me and what I was doing at all. I would have all the other people’s stories in my head. I still get that but I am aware now and I recapitulate and clear their stories from my psyche. I felt so much empathy for people in struggle that I opened my heart, my aura and my home to their drama’s. It took its toll on my sensitivity and they would go away feeling heard and validated and I would be left with all the psychic debris that was disowned and spend the next days wondering why the hell did I feel so out of whack?
I can pick the signs up so much more easily now and I can feel it with much more insight and awareness that I am able to sort it out much faster and even more important I don’t put myself in a situation that rings of this kind of feeling.
If you with someone who wants to share but is very rarely interested in your wellbeing and you feel tired after they have gone. I can guarantee you that you have leaked your energy and they have sucked it all up.
Don’t get into the blame game of judging them to be energy parasites. Their boundaries are crap too and they may be unable to see what they are doing either.
You are only responsible for your own energy, not anybody else’s.
There is a story that I love about two monks who meet a woman at the river, they are not allowed to touch women, but she is unable to cross so one monk carries her over to safety. They walk on for miles together while the other monk continues to berate him that he shouldn’t have touched and even worse carried the woman over the river. He silences him by saying. “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her.”
You may have absorbed energy that has set you off-balance but it’s up to you how long you will carry it for. When you stop the battle of right and wrong and embrace what you find as a teaching you are much more able to clear your energy field and find balance again. As you grow in this ability to clear and ground your energy your auric field will automatically become stronger.
Being sensitive you need boundaries to contain you as we are natural empath’s both emotionally and psychically. Boundaries not armour. The part of you that became the protector of that invaded child has been created for a reason. But your protector doesn’t need to be an armed warrior with a switch blade and a gun it needs to be a good parent that knows you like no-one else and offer you mindful guidance. When you gain grounded safe boundaries that empower your authentic self your protector will relax and feel that you are safe.