Meet my friend ANGER

180c9343e233b4de9a3d9ab1be3cc290As a kid of the 60’s I wasn’t allowed to play with ‘Anger’ any more after the cute tantrums became not so cute. My friend ‘Anger’ would still try to pop up every now and then slamming the door or storming off in a huff, she really helped me express my frustration.

As time went on she was unacceptable and socially inappropriate. She was made fun of and mocked and shamed for appearing. To me, she was someone I could count on to stand up for me when I needed help but bit by bit she became more of a liability for me in my cultural environment and so I chose to banish her to survive. I banished my friend called ‘Anger’ into a deep dark cave somewhere far out of reach. As a girl born from parents who were of the 30’s generation, I had to be a nice girl, I had to acquiesce to my future role as a young ‘lady’ and anger was not part of that programming. So I adapted to please as am sure many girls of my era did. Even though I envied the rebels, I was a programmed pleaser.

She stayed banished when the bullies made my life a living hell as I moved from school to school.

She stayed banished when I was humiliated and ostracised by my peers as an amusement sport.

She stayed banished when eleven girls kept me up all night interrogating me, trapping and surrounding me in my bed while accusing me of stealing when they knew all along it was another girl in that gang using me as a plaything to flush her out. They had planted something in my bag while I was in the shower and were like relentless hyenas.

I vaguely recall even being invited to have a cup of tea with them after. I sat in with my knees to my chest sipping at the cup in traumatic numb bewilderment. I didn’t even drink tea! Being the pleaser still….

I recall the next day with clarity as I listened to my friend’s anger, burst out of her banishment. I stood small on the landing at the elite boarding house across from the large tall girl from the night before as she told me of the truth of the framing.

The realisation of total unjustified injustice, snapped me open. My friend ‘Anger’ could not be silenced any longer. She arose like a volcano from the banished deep and shouted the place down for all to hear (small people sooner or later learn to garner a loud voice simply for survival if nothing else) Swear words were spat out like those of a bogan pub brawler. Not ladylike, in any way! The big girls eyes bulged wide with shock.

Instead of being proud of myself for standing up, all I could think about was where was the courage of my friend ‘Anger’ the night just gone….Why didn’t she give them a good shouting off, or scream for help or swear at the top of her lungs when I needed her the most, when I was terrified of being eaten alive by those hyena’s? I mean I was not guilty of any crime.

Upon reflection, the key to the trigger was the injustice, finding out I was an innocent prey toy in their agenda. What they did was wrong. Big time.

The girl that was the thief had befriended me as a new border. That night as they all entered the room she sat on the ground next to me, unleashing interrogation hell as did the others. I never found out if she felt remorse. She was thrown out of school soon after for her crime as apparently there was a lot of stealing going on. On the landing where my friend ‘Anger reappeared, the big girl tried to say sorry but the volcanic fire was way too hot. Anger told her where to stick it in no uncertain terms.

That was the first time I recall my shadow friend coming back in full swing. I think to be honest the power of her outburst scared me. I was left shaking and in tears and although I finally stood up for myself, I wasn’t sure what my friend ‘Anger’ was capable of anymore as she was pretty full-on. Some of my thoughts were pretty dark and vicious…what if they were let out, what could she, I be capable of?

It took many years to learn that the shadow friend I had banished wasn’t all that bad she was just sick to the back teeth of being ignored, not by others…..by me.

I didn’t know how to integrate her, accept or befriend her. I was on that trajectory of originalbeing a pleaser and I so wanted to be liked more than anything, due to my deep insecurities.

So my friend decided to transform herself into the invisible Ice Queen. Hardly any cruel words were ever spoken but if they were, they were sharp as a knife and penetratingly cold as the dead of Siberia’s winter. The ice was protecting me from harm so no-one could come close. My friend ‘Anger’ was doing it all because it was her job to keep me safe no matter what. Volcanic was too scary, so she morphed into ice, for me. I felt her arising in me but I couldn’t see her, she was invisible remember?

I can tell you that both volcanic anger and ice anger have the same lethal vibration.

Then came the day when I saw her as she had truly become.

A therapist asked me to draw what I thought my anger looked like as I was being triggered by my partner’s behaviour and resentment and unfairness was cycling round and round in my head with no resolve. I surrendered to the process and let myself draw. What came out of the drawing was an image that I don’t need a piece of paper to remember….its forever imprinted.

I drew a skinny, bitter, long-nailed nasty mouthed woman. Standing in the centre of a barbed wire fence and cursing anyone that would hurt me. Swear words of viciousness and protectiveness were written close by. It was everything I deemed ugly and cruel.

When I was a kid she was stubborn, bossy and strong-minded. I see her standing with her chin and chest out all proud of her tiny self, but she was also full of love and joy and adventure and held no ill will. I have always been a person that does not like unfairness on any level and my little friend had transformed into this bitter nasty protector that wasn’t going to let anyone get close enough to hurt me, ever! Silly because she couldn’t really protect me from the hurt I just got frozen in it instead.

It took me a good while to realise that the reason she became this way was because I had shoved her into the dark for so long out of fear. It wasn’t my fault that she was banished to the dark cave, it was how I was programmed via what behaviour was acceptable. My parents didn’t know any better and they were only trying to instil principles of kindness and respect, even though they negated to realise that the other emotions are is also as vitally important to a happy and healthy disposition.

When people ask me how to deal with a difficult emotion like anger, my answer is always the same. The only way through is by making friends, whether you are an Ice King or Queen or a Volcanic exploding Dragon.il_570xN.1692280634_dhyp

In meeting and embracing my friend anger fully, she now feels accepted, respected and relevant. Do I take her advice when she goes off and wants to say awful things, well no, but I take time and listen to how she is feeling, I will write her purging words in my private journal without any judgement – devoid of any censorship. When she does rear her head I know it’s like a train crossing signal, she is feeling protective of me feeling hurt and I assure her I will take good steps to communicate and work with my feeling safely one way or the other. I will never banish her again, she is part of my gestalt, my whole self. And believe me, by experience I can tell you it has helped ENORMOUSLY.

I have more of that inner friend of the early day’s qualities. I still walk with my chin up and out and my chest lifted. And if I feel strongly about something I will communicate it in a way both myself and others can handle. I still get mighty riled up when I see injustice and unfairness but I accept that that’s part of who I am and it has also lead me to my path of service. My inner child is happier, safer. I am no longer afraid of my protector like I used to be afraid of the dark. There are no caves to hide in any more and I know how to melt the ice.

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I am a work in progress as we all are.
Perfection, Pah!

Pick up a pen or a paintbrush and say hello to your protector and see what comes. Use what I have reflected on in this piece to help you access your inner shadow friend. When did yours turn up? Why do you think they were needed and when did you lose control of the friendship? What’s the best way to negotiate with them when they want your attention.

Begin the dialogue now

They are waiting

Blessings

Odette

 

(c) OdetteNightsky2020

Gratitude In The Face Of Unimaginable Devastation

Screen Shot 2020-01-05 at 11.45.06 amFor many years this country has been nicked named ‘ The Lucky Country’. The term was actually a derogatory joke, but it was taken on and flipped into a positive as we were advertised as the land of the bright blue skies, beautiful beaches, abundant nature with an optimistic ‘G’ day mate’ attitude. As I sit her with the windows closed due to thick orange smoke and read and watch the devastation in this country of Australia I can feel the collective grief as heavy and thick as the smoke is outside.

These fires are now worse that the Amazon fires and California fire’s put together. Millions of animals are dead, the land is scorched so badly that regrowth in some areas won’t happen. And we have more of this apocalyptic disaster yet to come. The firefighters and community front line workers are our humble hero’s while our current prime minister is being ripped to shreds, and deservedly so, but that’s another subject and at the moment it won’t help reading my righteous rage.

What I find coming up for me in this devastating heartbreak is… Gratitude. Gratitude, when I see a video of someone on a bike giving a desperate koala a drink who is hanging on to their leg for dear life, gratitude to the dog and the firefighter that helps find the injured koala’s and other animals in the ravaged bushland, gratitude to all those donating from overseas and here at home to the firefighters. Gratitude to the man who saved a family and their dog on a boat from a flame that was going to wipe them all out, gratitude to the people that come and rescue the horses who will die otherwise, gratitude to the fire chiefs that are doing an amazing job in leadership, gratitude for the app called ‘Fires near me’ that keeps me posted on how close the fires are, gratitude to people giving up their caravans or a room for others who have lost everything, gratitude for water, the air-conditioning that others do not have on the burning days of over 40-degree temperature’s which are becoming more common, gratitude to my friend who paid the firefighter’s lunch bill yesterday, gratitude for our neighbours that have put my elder mother who I care for, and myself into their fire plan.

I could go on and on. Every day I see or read acts of kindness. Terrible times can bring out many feelings…. Grief, anxiety, fear, anger and hopelessness. It can also bring out the best in people, often those on the ground facing things front on, who ask for nothing in return. I myself am donating to the care of injured animals. as I am so deeply grateful to those caring for animals that have been burnt as I just can’t do that, my heart would shatter into a million pieces. Gratitude to those who can and do.

I sit here in deep gratitude for everyone doing their bit to help.

I am not one who relates to the concept of prayer, so if you would like to help, please donate where you can and envision good consistent rainfall that nourishes the land.

In gratitude
Odette

The Troll Within

 

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Art: John Bauer

Mental health issues are more talked about between the younger generation nowadays than they have ever been. Those of us over 50 who I refer to as the egg crackers slowly started to bring it out into the open often at great risk. Before that, it was shut down into a steel box and shamed. Due to the publics ability to share a great deal of personal information via social media, we are inundated with more information about these issues. Public perception is changing bit by bit with more public figures speaking about their challenges, however, there is far more criticism about peoples sensitivities than there ever has been and far more suicides due to being harassed online. Internet trolls are like a virus that can erode anyone’s soul. So although people are speaking up about living with mental illness ( what I refer to Acute Sensitivity) the negative feedback and need for more dirt is more prominent than it has ever been.

 

Trolls in folklore, originating from the northern lands of Scandinavia were seen as ugly creatures and unhelpful to anyone other than their own kind, especially those known to be of ‘ One God” persuasion. Later they were seen more as ‘ Nature Beings’ as they were born and grew from the rocks of the earth. Like those of the fey they were otherworldly

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Art: John Bauer

and misunderstood in being protective of their landscapes. So Im not sure they would be too pleased to be included in the vicious internet trolls of modern-day, however, the language that internet trolls spew out is indeed incredibly ugly. And like those of folklore and those of the internet, they both tend to thrive in the dark. Light is their enemy. In folklore, they would turn to solid immovable stone. The internet trolls lose their power by being exposed.

 

We all have our own versions of internet trolls within us. They are our ugly thoughts about ourselves. Like for example the other day I was flicking back through photos of myself and I was quite mesmerised because I never perceived myself as pretty or beautiful. I was taken aback at how I could see the shining beauty emanating from me and I really liked the face that I was looking back at me. This has been one of my greatest troll take downs. I built on other things, like kindness, character, humour, sensitivity smarts, compassion etc but the ugly duckling mentality was still in there, in the dark, hiding.

And as the universe would have it, today I passed an elderly greek man who I often meet on the street of this neighbourhood and have light and funny conversations about history with. I have nicked named him ‘The King of Greece” as he believes everything comes from the greek! He said to me, Hello, pretty! Such a sweet compliment. All the other girls were always pretty and I was just ‘cute’…the inner trolls made havoc with that. I have never considered going to the plastic surgeon or getting botox or any of that stuff to make better of my looks or every would and creeping towards 60 years old, I am loving myself, my songlines (scars and wrinkles) more and more. This comes from changing the way I deal with my inner troll. The ugly voice inside saying you will never be as pretty as they are.

Inner trolls test where you are at with yourself. Whether it’s a negative voice or thought-form. Inner trolls are your inner critics, inner abusers. And you know what they need? Like the Trolls of old Norse fey lands, they need to be brought into the LIGHT of conscious understanding. Inner trolls hide inside the shadows of our minds deep down in our subconscious. We tend to keep them there as they are ugly, but the thing is that the ugliness is like a virus to our soul.

There is this great Ted talk by a feisty, ballsy and sensitive woman called Constance Hall. She speaks about how she dealt with relentless bullying by internet trolls. She is very honest about how it took its toll on her and like all victims got brought to her knees. What stopped her was someone who loved her deeply and helped her have faith in herself again, to be able to retrieve the love inside her that the trolls had ripped asunder. What she learned from it all was that kindness is the best antidote to dealing with trolls. She is absolutely right. I was a victim of horrendous bullying at many schools and I have to say kindness has been my staple antidote, along with a strong sense of no bullshit boundaries.

To me, kindness and healthy self boundaries are the light. Trolls can’t thrive in the light. So it’s up to us as individuals to keep our light shining especially when it comes to our own inner trolls. You know that saying, that you can get many compliments but one criticism will floor you and you will fester on it for ages? Well, that’s your inner troll at work. Internet trolls are sad and lost people stuck in the dark with only bitterness and bile to live on. It’s a pretty shite life truth be told. Our inner trolls are somewhat the same. They don’t know what else to feed off but the shadows we have locked away.

 

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Art: John Bauer

So here’s what I do that helps me get perspective

 

  1. I zero in on a particular issue that the troll often is negative about.
  2. I write down the nasty statement the inner troll says (I know what the statement is when I feel a strong charge on it/reaction.)
  3. I may even or draw a picture of the ugliness that comes with it.
  4. I ask my inner troll, how long has it been with me.
  5. I look at that key point in my life when it came and why I might have needed it.
  6. Then I genuinely say thank you so much for trying to help me (it doesn’t know any better) but now I am going to look at other ways of viewing this issue.
  7. Each time when it arises again, as I grow my awareness to knowing when it turns up, I say again ‘Thank you, much appreciated, but I am choosing the path of self-kindness now’.

This will take some time to unlearn the troll way of thinking but bit by bit you will see that the troll becomes more in your control rather than you being at its mercy.

The greatest challenge is not so much what others say about us but how much we repeatedly imprint it over and over again into our own psyche.

One of my favourite Buddhist stories is of the two monks

and I think it’s relevant to share it within this subject.

A senior monk and a junior monk were travelling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, up_52354b8ce849d1.95055940_lgplaced her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey. The young monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

The younger monk has a bit of an immature troll attitude, finding fault without seeing the bigger picture. That what we do within our own minds. We feed the immature troll that finds fault rather than choosing to be kind and compassionate towards what arises.

It’s about training the mind to be a tool rather than a troll.

 

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Art: John Bauer

I invite you to move into some dialogue with your inner Troll in a creative way and shine the light into the cave of shadow, ignorance and fear. It may seem scary at first, so just do it little by little at your own comfortable pace. You will be glad you did.

 

Blessings

Odette

 

 

(c) OdetteNightsky 2019

Shamanic Understanding Of The Soul

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Shamans had an understanding of the soul from the very beginning much further back than any other spritual path of humanity. Maybe that wasn’t the word they used but by all translations from the Tungus across the other indigenous tribes on earth, it is and always has been interpreted it as the ‘Soul’.

Etymology of the word
soul (n.1) “A substantial entity believed to be that in each person which lives, feels, thinks and wills” [Century Dictionary], Old English sawol “spiritual and emotional part of a person, animate existence; life, living being,” from Proto-Germanic *saiwalō (source also of Old Saxon seola, Old Norse sala, Old Frisian sele, Middle Dutch siele, Dutch ziel, Old High German seula, German Seele, Gothic saiwala), of uncertain origin.

What is not mentioned is the Siberian Tungus origins of the word. Which is where  the term ‘shamanism’ originates.

The soul is the primary core teaching of shamanism in its therapeutic sense. Everything is understood from the souls perspective. Be that illness, death, birth, depression, madness, relationships, conflict etc.

There is a knowing via experience that the soul journeys through multidimensional landscapes and this is not limited to time or space. One of those landscapes includes the human lives we experience here on earth.

This is where the bridge between Buddhism and Shamanism differs greatly. Buddhism doesn’t believe in the existence of the soul. They believe in the transference of energy from one life to another but not as a soul travelling through many life times. Which I find totally perplexing to understand no matter how much I have read on it. Buddhists believe in reincarnate but it’s not the soul that moves from one life to another, its just seen as energy. However there is a sense of knowing in the energy, a sense of memory. For example I have read and seen much on the reincarnation of lama’s and the tests they need to go through picking items from their other lives to confirm they were the old lama from years back, but no its still not the soul memory doing this. So what is it? Is it just the left over memory that jumps on board to this energy wave? It perplexes me no end. Both Buddhist and neurologists say that they still cannot define what ‘consciousness’ actually is but they are sure it’s not the soul. Um…sorry that just doesnt make sense.
This is where I break off. I know the souls journey to be true via my own personal experience and by journeying others. This would be a great debate to watch between Shamans and Buddhists. Shamanism was merged with Buddhism in Tibet and there is a man referred to as the State Oracle who goes into trance and tells the Dalai Lama what they see. Did he throw out his knowing of the soul to adapt to the Buddhist belief? I still have so many questions.  I  like a lot of what Buddhism has to offer regarding the practices that really help to balance the mind, however what I am left with is…..Why cant consciousness be the soul?

When I feel into my consciousness beyond my ‘Self’ It’s like my inner witness, the part of me that is connected to the source that just IS.

Most people think the word ‘Soul’ comes through religion because that’s often where they hear the term, eg the everlasting soul. In their belief the soul is created by a male god and when you die, you go back to god, if you have been good and repentant for being born a sinner.  Otherwise you head down to the fiery furnace or are left stuck forever more in limbo. Terribly fear based concepts in my view.

Shamanism is the earliest path of understanding of the Soul (Consciousness)shamanic-pic-2-270x398

When I have experienced other lives and fully walked through them in journeywork and also experiencing between life and death realms its a lot easier to cognitively understand mainly because shamanism is based primarily on knowing through experience rather than just blind belief.

The way I learned was not the shaman doing the work or so called healing. I was guided into a life (I had no idea which I would be experiencing),  and through all the significant events including death and after death. There is this element of being the witness to the experience. And no matter how horrid some lives were, there was this calm observer within me watching without conflict. It had no agenda, no judgement. Just watching the life and death and then back to Great Mystery as powdered starlight. I have healed the deepest of wounds this way and I have to say its been a wonderful enjoyable adventure even with the tears that might come. Its like I released dense debris each time and the proof for me was the issue did not resurface again in my life.

Some people think that if you believe you’re a soul and you will traverse many lives you won’t work hard in this one because you have more chances. I dont know about others but for me it makes me work harder. In knowing that I am a soul experiencing a human experience this time round, I work my arse off! Sure I may have more lives to come but this life my ID is Odette Nightsky and while I am here in this form, this life experience I will do all I can to explore this personality and see what I can do to clear any debris ( this life and other life wounding’s or blocks) to make way for the next journey wether that be in human form or not. Personally my ego wants to be a spirit guide going around helping others, but hey, who knows? One can dream 🙂

I see us as a souls journey through lifetimes. And like stars in the sky we are always connected to Great Mystery in whatever stage of the path we are on.

So knowing that we are spiritual beings living a human experience makes living here much more palatable in my view. We are more than our flesh, our ego.

My soul came here for a reason. In my early years my ego was in charge as it had to find a way to adapt. The ego is good at that and its important we value its survival instincts. As I have said before I knew nothing other than I was going to be a theatre actress for the rest of my life and them BAM! My ego cracked and shattered. It needed to. It was horrid and at times terrifying but it needed to be broken, basically because I wouldn’t listen any other way at that time in my life.

My soul had to evolve and to do that I had to be cracked. For a good many years I lived in what I term ‘between worlds’. I was not in my body at all due to past wounds and hated being here on earth amongst what I perceived people only interested in the superficial life. So I did what I could to escape by leaving my body as much as possible. I resisted being here a lot but it didn’t work. My soul made and agreement to come here and follow my calling. A calling I had no idea about till much later. In looking back the signs were all there, but I didn’t want to look, or do the work. I just wanted to escape back to wherever the hell it was I came from. It was all too bloody hard! Sooner or later I was compelled to listen and it was the black hole of madness that woke me up. (Gifts come in the dark as well as the light)

You see the key thing is within the shamanic soul based path is you can live in BOTH worlds harmoniously. You just need to know how to shift in-between them and hold your own in staying grounded. Fly out fly in with conscious intent. I mean you never really fly out all together until death but boy can people fragment out. PTSD, trauma,  heavy alchohol or drug abuse, any kind of blinding escapism that helps you not be here because its just too bloody painful.

I remember in the early days when the cracks started to show. My legs would just shake on their own. I mean not a little tremble, fully bouncing up and down type shaking and I had no control over them no matter how much I tried. Little did I know it was my way of leaving my body to escape confrontation.sio Jaya

Now I know how to bring myself back in and it rarely occurs anymore. If it does I heed the signal. My body is sending me messages, the good survivor that it is. It’s saying ‘Hey, just wanna tell you you’re splitting off right now, warning, warning.” I can then tune in to the upset and call my fragment in after clearing it from the trigger. Works like a charm. My go to medicine. If I don’t have time to go in deep. I do some rounds of recapitulation (like a mini soul retrieval) which I highly recommend to do as lead up practice to Soul Retrieval journey work.

All my other lives have led to this one. My lessons, my wounds, my learnings. My soul has traversed many lifetime experiences and some so dark, so horrid that I cried at what I could be capable of. I remember at the end of my training when I journeyed through a life were I was not a victim to being burned or tortured, or ostracised (which was common), I was the abuser, a murderer. I saw how I had become like that but my ego jumped in after the session due to the guide not being my teacher but a student in training and I threw up in disgust at what kind of person I was. I bawled my eyes out in deep shame. My teacher took me back in again and I was able to heal that shame, guilt and disgust. Now when I think about it, there is no charge at all. No upset. I am clear from it. I have learned and evolved from that life and in clearing it, the gifts and insights I kept are so valuable. We all have that potential. The path of the souls journey is a path of recalibration and balance. So we must meet all parts of our ego. That is why the old shamanic initiation of is being ripped apart is so well known in this field. The ego  dissolves at critical speed. I have learned over many years that I don’t need to be ripped apart at critical speed. I need to walk the gentle path, the nurturing path to balance. Some people can’t shift without the critical speed, like when I walked the terror of madness. I chose to learn the hard way. I was alway so very hard on myself. Later learned how to clear the hard, mean unforgiving side to make way for the gentle path.

One other life journey was so rich, so deep, so good I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in that life and not return. It had everything I wanted. My teacher asked me what that life as that particular woman felt like. I said it was like a bright beaming sun, strong and powerful. I felt the bone brace across my chest and I was connected to the tribe and was not going to leave it. My wise teacher didn’t push me. She just gently investigated more and more until she asked me what did Odette feel like energetically compared to this woman. I dropped in and felt this soft gentle river flowing through me. It was like drinking cool water when you’re so very thirsty. I immediately understood the power of the river and how it could adapt and move and be strong at the same time. I let go of the power I felt I needed and the bone brace across my chest, and kept the natural gifts and knowledge that came from that life. It was going to be way too hard to fit a Native American warrior woman into the body of a Celtic faerie.

So how do I stay in both worlds? Well, by being conscious of where I am in my psyche and what is arising for me. I am big at inner dialogue whether that be with my inner child, my inner teen, my critic, my protector etc and consciously pull myself in when I feel I am too far out of my body. That helps a lot. I often fly out with awareness for a little while, go down the shamans tree, check in on my inner child and the state of the sanctuary, be alert to the little changes etc, say thankyou to those that were there, intentionally call myself back to my earth suit, write it out and then get on with my ordinary reality life tasks.

Like the other morning. I journeyed to the Shamans Tree across the field and there were white doves in the tree branches and in the nooks of the tree trunk. I saw a cat near the door and pick it up, vibe wise all felt very benevolent on checking so I attempted to take it into the tree. The cat then has a bit of a hissy fit and I step out again. After putting it down it transforms into a tall African man, a Sangoma (shaman). He sits down and pulls out some white cloth on the ground and invites me to sit ( I psychically check with my personal Sangoma that I call on for physical healing who lives under the earth and he says all is ok). The tall African then throws small bones, beads and shells and looks straight at me then asks me to stand and smokes me clear and then says its safe to go into the tree. You see I had been dealing with stomach upset issues  and since then it has been so much better. Then inside the sanctuary a baby elephant appeared with its mother, new to my sacred space and connected to the African who was happy to stay outside the tree. This journey is inside me like little seeds while I get on with my daily life. It nourishes my inner world while I walk in the outer helping others to learn how to nourish theirs. This is my soul optimum path and I am am a willing participant.

I am a very logical practical person on many levels here in ordinary reality but I can turn within at a moments notice and tune in to the non ordinary reality space. My sessions with clients are often a combination of my practical self and then turning my head, my vision inward to hear and recieve from the other side. I sense my soul in connection to what I do in life nowdays. It has no personality, no ego, no hunger, need, polarity of right or wrong or judgement. It is the core of me, beyond the me…. that is connected to Great Mystery. I use the term Great Mystery because when I feel into the source that is in connection with my soul essence….it is the stars in the sky, the galaxies, the universe. It has no ID. It just is.

This world is a crazy place. Being a conscious soul (well as much I am able), I know I starry_sky_silhouette_swing_tree_night_118434_3840x2160have come here for a reason and intend to make the most of it. I am so grateful for the earth suit that was given me and for my tenacious personality to be able to keep  pushing through and thriving but i know that when I leave this body, this ID goes with it and my soul will go on till it becomes one with the stars.

We are all souls living a human existence. It’s up to us to make the most out of the journey here on earth while we can.
Blessings

Odette

 

(c) OdetteNightsky2019

Tibetan Buddhism and Shamanism

From an earlyTibetan-shaman-tour age I felt naturally drawn to a different path. When you are a kid and you like exploring graveyards, it kinda leans that way!

I always knew reincarnation was a fact. To me, it made practical sense. I think I came in with this inner knowing as there was never a moment that I saw or remembered things differently.

Religion held my interest for a very short time as the stories belonging to a supreme invisible god or son of God just didn’t resonate, other than thinking Jesus seemed like a really good guy and pity those that followed his teachings were not so kind.

As I curiously explored different paths and beliefs I found some helpful practices here and there and then the shamanic path connected me to a deep and resonating knowing that none of the others had. I have never been a cult follower. I am more of a lone wolf. Shamanism for me, a person who was traversing other worlds in crisis, made total sense and has been my greatest navigator in dealing with issues or encounters that arise in my life. It was not viewed originally as a religion which I have shared before and neither was Buddhism. However, humans have a way of idolising so many things and putting them into a nice and neat controlled box that they can look up to.

250px-ChodIn the last years I have been strongly pulled into researching more of Tibetan medicine and practices. I remember years back being led into non-ordinary reality to find I was smack bang in the Himalayas as a monk in a long wooden building, very high up. I can still see it now as clear as day in my mind. I was seated in my layered burgundy red robe, my head shaved but for a little covering of dark hair growing on my scalp. I was sitting in front of a long very thick slab of tan washed paper and writing with a thin brush in dark ink. The many movable doors straight in front of me were open to a spectacular view and the sky before me, clear blue as the mountain peaks jutted out all around with snow pouring off the peaks. In the sky to the right was a gleaming silver craft. I felt calm as my hand wrote across the slab of paper. I kept looking up and back to my writing and the craft simply hovered there, seemingly patient without moving away. The amber gold lights spun in a circular motion around and around the head of the craft.  I knew that my job was to write what I saw as a scribe and to record these sightings. Returning from the journey I was pleased and somewhat surprised as I loathe being cold and I am complete shite at climbing up mountains.

Sometime later an astrologer was looking at my chart and told me that I had come from a very secular past and had experienced some of my most recent lives in monasteries and spent a great deal of time in isolation in one way or another. In this present life, I was to embrace my individual originality and share my knowledge in the path of service, actively and creatively.

I still need to retreat in this life as I am primarily a sensitive empathic introvert. I  previously found that solace in meditative silent 10 day retreats until I was majorly tested and spirit gave me a loving kick from within to say ‘That’s enough!’.

Now when I am looking for that nourishment of solitude, it is spent in the heart of nature without the umbrella of a monastery experience. Occasionally I still get that pull to a monastic way of life and the vibration of peace those places emanate, but I know it’s in the past even though the teachings still intrigue me in the subject area of my interest. One day I would like to be of service to young girls at a monastic retreat in Nepal for a bit, but not in winter!

Tibetan Buddhism pulls on my curiosity strings. Not the religious disciple path at all, more the techniques and exercises that can assist with navigating non-ordinary reality and being the witness to your experience which is often what my path of service involves.

Before Buddhism came to Tibet, Shamanism (Bompo) was the way of life and you can still see the shamanistic flavour within the Tibetan practices of today.  Standard Buddhism does not advocate the practices to include these insights.

Padmasambhava the Buddhist Master and Milarepa the Tibetan Yogi when encountering invading spirits sought to educate them by negotiation and by cajoling them. They didn’t seek to destroy them or want to harm them. Compassion has always been the primary path to release those from spiritual invasion and disturbance whether living or dead. That insight and practice has my total respect.

Tibetan Medicine, represented by the blue Buddha includes the importance of the Buddha-Weekly-00-Best-Medicine-Buddha-2influence on the spirit as well as the mind, emotions and body. It acknowledges entity invasion and psychic illness and how it can detrimentally influence the persons mental and physical health. To me, that kind of approach is wise and holistic. The doctors today that advertise themselves as holistic, really have no idea what that word really means. They are not looking at the person as a whole at all.

I did a study retreat on Tibetan medicine a few years back and it confirmed so much of what I instinctually know in relation to how my mind, body and spirit work together. One of my all-time favourite research books was ruined in a flood and although I let many of the past books go I felt compelled to reorder this particular one because its full of jewels, insight and knowledge that I want to refer back to when need be. It’s called81GcZ4MIMeL

The Diamond Healing.
Tibetan Buddhist Medicine and Psychiatry
by Terry Clifford

Tibetan Buddhism does not negate that other worlds exist. I mean look at the concept of the Bardo. The dying person is moving through all matter of dimensional worlds as the monk guides them through, keeping their fearful and agitated spirit calm and chanting for them to be released in peace towards their next life. I wouldn’t mind that when I leave my body, a little help to navigate. Maybe that’s why I assist people to navigate the inner worlds in daily life. It makes total sense to me.

The reason I chose this subject today is that I read another wonderful and inspiring book years back that made a huge impact on me and my path of insight. It was about an English woman who went to Tibet and after some training lived up in a mud cave dwelling for 12 yea41IB3f3WwtL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_rs on her own. The book is called

‘Cave in the Snow’ and her name is Tenzin Palmo.

I found through beautiful synchronicity that she is visiting here, in the city where I am residing, this weekend coming,  to lead a two-day gathering to teach her understanding of mindfulness and meditation and how it can be used in daily life in the western world. I must say I am so looking forward to what I will experience and learn.

Mindfulness combined with shamanic practices and a few other techniques from other sources is my stable, deeply rooted oak tree backbone. When you are in journey space and traversing different dimensions it’s really important to be the witness to your own experience and the challenges that may arise. In this way, healthy integration becomes a deeper experience and a longer lasting sustenance.

Blessings and still learning and loving it.

Odette

(c) Odette Nightsky 2019

When Sensitive Folk Travel

220px-RWS_Tarot_00_FoolWhen we set off on adventures to places we have never been or haven’t been for a long time we tend to forget that we will land on a different vibrational energy to what we are used to.

This is because vibrations differ from country to country, state to state and from one place to the next, on the earths surface. Different locations vibrate at different frequencies. This can be due to multiple reasons, from what has happened on that part of the landscape in early years of history to what is happening upon it in current times as well as how the lay of the land is and its structure.

I remember when I visited Europe many years ago. I was touring all sorts of ancients sites and landscapes but didn’t feel a great deal of difference energetically until I walked into the coliseum in Rome. Suddenly felt faint and it was as if the blood was leaving my body. I could hear the animals screaming inside my core and had to get out of there fast. The person I was with was worried as I looked deathly pale. Once outside and off the grounds I was fine. Now of course we all know that the colosseum is rife with pain and torture from the past but there have been many other instances where I have felt the strong underlying energy of places both enjoyable and confronting without quite knowing why until later.

My first memory of a place that really effected me was at the largest Buddhist Temple in the world, Borobudur in Indonesia. I can still sense the vibration from there to this day. Even as a seven year old climbing up all the steps and putting my hf4024c571e5e09ce5e4049bc181500b1-borobudur-templeands through the holes in the bells to touch the buddhas, there was this incredible sense of deep inner calm.

Flicking the switch to a not so joyous vibration was in Norwich England, years back before my shamanic training. I was staying in a lovely thatched house in a lush country area with friends, with my own room which was delightful due to bunking down in hostels as one does when one is young and exploring. However, every single night was not so delightful. I awoke to horrific heart palpitating terror shredding nightmares. I did everything I could to change the direction of how I slept, move things, cleanse etc (I was an amateur at cleansing in those days). The terrors kept coming night after night, waking me up in lathers of sweat and fear.

The nightmare fragments that I could recall were of women being harmed in some way. The only solace I could find was in the woods where I would fall asleep on the moss-covered tree roots in the warm late spring afternoons. England is wonderful like that. Australia, not so…ticks, spiders, snakes, leeches….yep you get it.

HexenverbrennungAdmittedly, I wasn’t very conscious of my inner psychic abilities and insights in those days and I wasn’t about to insult my hosts by telling them I was freaking out with night terrors in their lovely home especially as the woman I knew who’s place it was, was pregnant. I didn’t find out till I was leaving via some conversation that Norwich had a history in being one of the major places for the trials and extermination of witches. If I was with someone on a spiritual path maybe they would have told me more about it and the internet was not as common as it is now in regards to looking things up.

The thing was I had been travelling and staying in other parts of England and never felt that. Norwich was literally haunting me and hunting me down like a witch hunter would have. I felt somewhat stuck there even though I knew I should go. When I did finally leave I headed straight to Devon to begin what would be my shamanic training and although the shamanic work was very emotionally taxing, I slept like a babe without issue.

I am very sensitive not only to the inner world of people’s issues but also to landscapes and vibrations on the whole. In stone circles I can pick the mother stone without even thinking. On landscapes where battle has happened I can see the blood inside me and flooding through intwined with the pain.

For years I travelled the world looking for where I felt a resonance of belonging. Finally in my late 30’s I arrived upon my fathers birthplace which is included within a huge caldera from a once active volcano. After several months myself and a friend decided to climb up to the top of the volcanoe (now dormant) and sleep up there. Its illegal to do it nowadays but then we could get away with it. That night I awoke to an aboriginal man outside the tent. I can still see him now. He wore very little and sat before a roaring fire. He asked me what I wished and to be honest I can’t remember my answer. I awoke again inside the tent and scrambled to get out whilst waking my friend who was wondering what I was on about. As I came out of the tent all was still and the stars were bright in the night sky. No sign of the aboriginal man. I could have sworn I was wide awake when I encountered him. Later I found out that the volcano is where many earth energy linesmt-warning-caldera-470x264 (song-lines, dreaming tracks, serpent lines) converge. Its considered a holy mountain to mens rituals and has a history of throwing women off it ( they have accidents etc). This being was clearly a spiritual caretaker of the mountain and I felt fully welcome to the land like no other, the land of my fathers birth. The synchronicity’s that happened that day going up and coming down…were uncanny and confirming. When I return to this particular area for my downtime from counselling and being a full time carer, tears fill my eyes when I see the volcano from the plane as there is a sense of deep belonging that I have rarely ever felt anywhere else on this earth. I have been and lived in places I know I have lived before in other lives, but none that feel like home this time around.

Another little story. I was on a train travelling to my homeland caldera from the south and I encountered a very agitated aboriginal grandmother that had three fingers bound up (due to some injury). She was trying to sort out two small children and a baby and was clearly overwhelmed and her patience was thinning. Others on the carriage looked at her with distain. The woman next to me who I didn’t know I stood up at the same time as me and offered to help hold the baby so she could sort herself out. She burst into tears at the kindness. As we chatted and played with the kids she shared that she felt wrong in the area that she got on the train from and couldn’t wait to get home to ‘her country’ (Aboriginal Australians refers to their country as the area their people caretake and come from and this can differ from state to state).

At another stop she asks me to hold the baby again so she could go and get some food and honestly she looked so ill. She shared that the area that we were passing through was a bad place for her people. When we got into ‘her country’ and close to mine she lightened up and her mood shifted. Her face had transformed into a state of peace. You may think that maybe she was just superstitious but I am not one to deny that certain places hold different vibrations for people that can be very disconcerting regardless of their beliefs. I had no idea about Norwich before I stayed there but it effected me deeply.

Australian-Songlines

Artist: Peter Muraay Djeripi Mulcahy

I have tones of other tales of different landscapes I have been on and how they have effected me. What is important to remember is to be prepared for the shift in vibration. Even if you forget, which happens to me quite often (you think I would have learned by now! Sheesh!) you can call on some tools from within if need be.

In travelling as a sensitive its important to know that it will take you time to adjust to the vibration of the landscape that you are on. It will be a combination of many factors. Where you are in the world and what is occurring for those that dwell there, currently. What history has gone before that may trigger you. The collective of the indigenous peoples imprint on the land and how they were/ are treated/ honoured. Just to name a few.

So it’s important to take a number of things in your little travelling medicine bag.

  • Sage ointment/oil that you can rub on the back of your lower neck and belly (the lower neck is where stuff gets in and the belly is where you leak out energy)
  • An Amulet of some kind that you can hold onto that represents a peaceful energy
  • A flower essence or rescue remedy to raise your vibration
  • To mindfully call your spirit into your body and pat your heart chakra or solar plexus repeatedly while telling your inner child that its ok, you will look after he/she on this adventure.
  • Take a journal with you (better than typing on a computer as its more personal) and write out how you are feeling. Keeping track your inner journey.
  • Pick up some dirt or leaf or something natural from the ground and honour the ancestors of the place that you are visiting.

Fortunately when I recently went overseas I had many of these tools with me and I didronpippin.com hit an energy bump when I first arrived. I am grateful that I took some basic tools with me and had others inbuilt inside to call on. I trust this gives you a little insight to the importance of what you need to be aware of when you travel to different earth frequencies and to maybe think about how places you have been to or the place you are currently living in vibrates and how you adapt to it.
Blessings
Odette

(c) OdetteNightsky 2019

Plant Medicine & Safety

earth-motherWhen we look into the indigenous cultures of traditional shamans it is common that there is use of hallucinogenic ethnobotanical’s (plant medicine). In traditional shamanism the medicine plant journey (which would move the subject into an altered state) was taken underneath the all seeing eyes of the shaman and guided all the way through. They would do ceremony to call in helping spirits and focus intent, watch over the spirit of the journeyer and deal with any entity invasion that may arise be that through something that needed to be healed via abuse, negative thought forms or something that they had picked up during illness or conflict.

This was a journey of the student, guided by their teacher. The student would never think to venture this type of journey alone. The shaman was actively present during it all and knew how hold space for the student and help them when terror gripped their mind, as they travelled the unknown realms, facing their fears and becoming one with the cosmos and nature. The shaman had already walked the path and recovered so they knew what the student would face and sensed intuitively what was needed during the experience.
Witches were known to use plants for different altered states and they also knew the importance of dose and danger in their use, chines medicine is based on the healing properties of plants, and many of the drugs of today started off from plants before they created the chemical copy. The use of plants for healing is wide spread and valuable. As a journey plant however we need to be careful in our approach and the reasons that one may feel the call to ingest them

These days there is much less sacredness in taking plant medicine for shamanic journeying. It is often done in a large group with a hefty price by people who take it upon themselves to be facilitators or invite a shaman from overseas to lead it. Individuals are often not contained on their journey due to the large numbers within the group and some do fragment severely. (There is no mental health assessment on people coming into these groups) I say this because many of my clients have been victims of badly held so called sacred medicine events.

The medicine plants that currently popular are Ayauasca, Iboga, San Pedro Catcus, Mushrooms.Luis-Tamani-e1543255506867-855x1024

Men are most commonly attracted to shamanic ethnobotanical journeying. Maybe its the inner Druid, Magician or the Alchemist that calls them. It can also be a pathway to healing the connection to the feminine via the archetype of mother earth as a living female entity.

Unfortunately many (both men and women) get caught up thinking it’s a bit of a fast track to enlightenment or a way to access other dimensions without hard worn effort. The truth is many enjoy the plant ride but do not fully integrate the teaching when they are back in ordinary reality.

There is talk about things like mushrooms and other plant medicines helping people with mental illness. As yet I have seen no proof of this in any way. Don’t get me wrong I am not condemning any plant as all plants are sacred and have their uses, even the weeds in the backyard, however if they are used as escape hatches and fast tracks to enlightenment its the same as a someone seeking nirvana through heroin. They will be forever chasing the white lady (nick name for heroin) to rescue them from their self-imposed lack of worth.

I remember years back this women who led medicine circle journeys with Ayahuasca (DMT) insisted that she felt it was time for me to journey to the sacred plant and felt that the plant was calling me. I really did not resonate with doing it. If the plant had called me itself, maybe…. I said that if I ever did it, I would honour the plant by going to where it originates (South America) and seek a traditional shaman of that culture to guide me. I really do not agree with taking plant medicine from a different landscape and culture in a place that the plant does not originate. I have for a long time felt very strongly about this, like its an innate law or something that is inbuilt in my knowing.

Don’t be fooled into thinking I am a purist, heck no. I have had my time with all sorts of recreational drugs in my youth and have experienced taking mushrooms, a small amount of Acacia wattle (the Australian version of DMT) and the sacred green herb that grows well here in Oz, marijuana.

Oqa7GyUI like marijuana. Not the horrible hydro stuff, just the naturally home grown mother earth loving herb. However when I do smoke marijuana its for pleasure and relaxation, not for shamanic work. Things do arise when I smoke but I would never do medicine work when I am stoned nor journey anyone else…because I am not fully present, I am between worlds enjoying the betwixing of it.

You see I learned to shift into shamanic altered states without sacred medicine. And because of that I don’t feel the need to use it for those purposes. Some people recommend it because it bypasses your mind and your need to control things. Sure I can see that could be helpful but I am all for relinquishing your mind naturally without ingesting anything but oxygen.

The shamanic breath pumps so much oxygen into your system that it automatically puts you into an altered state. If you have ever experienced rebirthing its very similar. You are breathing deeply in and out without pause. You are not breathing just into your chest (which leads you to hyperventilation) you are breathing your whole body. And by doing this you mind takes a back seat and you open up at portal within yourself and move into non ordinary reality with ease.

There are a very small percentage of people who cannot journey and thats because they are terrified of losing control. Just imagine if they took plant medicine. If they had the right guide to hold space for their terrors it may well benefit. If they didn’t….they may end up in the psych ward.

I have seen many people who were so deeply into it and praising its wonderful benefits but they did not integrate it at all and after time they became depressed and their cognitive ability to bounce back became less and less.

To me ethnobotanicals for shamanic journeying should be done with a guide that is very experienced within its culture and medicine, preferably indigenous to the land and has a strong connection to the plant and by example shows (not just tells) they have integrated the medicine. Otherwise its just another new age western wank.

My ex partner was immersed in ethnobotanical’s and loved the ways of Terrance McKenna, Timothy Leary and the rest of the ethno men and I didn’t judge that, but what I did notice is that it was all lovely when he was in it but it didn’t translate to ordinary reality. He just wasnt able totumblr_nf9nzafHIH1so2bdno1_500 integrate the wisdom gained. And I have seen this with many others.

If the plant helps you to be more present thats great.
If the plant helps you to feel more connected in daily life, wonderful.
If the plant helps you to heal and wound and this healing continues in ordinary reality, brilliant.

But the truth is you don’t need the plant to help you be present, feel connected and heal wounds.

We are not here to be fragmented between worlds. We need to weave these worlds together so what we do in one benefits the other.

If you feel a strong pull to plant medicine then do it with integrity. Not as a fast track, not as an escape route, and do it with someone who has time to guide you personally. As a guide for others who travel in non ordinary reality its really important to have someone to assist you in the navigation when you are lost in the experience. Much like the Bardo the Tibetans refer to when someone dies, the spirit of the dead person who has left their body hears the monks read out what’s happening to them and assists their spirit to navigate the dimensions till its free from any bondage of mind, body and spirit.

We need guidance because our minds are so strong and can trick us into getting stuck in fear and terror. The use of plant medicine can really test you on your fears, so its imperative that you get good solid guidance and containment as you journey, if you chose that mode of travel.

shaman7_orig

Blessings
Odette Nightsky

© O.Nightsky March 2019