The Path Less Travelled

The path of the traditional shaman was quite brutal in many ways. They faced the terrors of madness and initiations were hard won. It wasn’t an easy path by any means. In contrast, shamanism today has become über fashionable.

In current times many have been drawn to groups run by bring in traditional Shamans so they can take plant medicine that originates from a completely different culture and landscape. Many people via the honourable medicine ritual are transformed in a very positive way, cleared of old wounds, healed from chronic addictions depending on what medicine they imbibe and where they are at in their concscous development, but its not an all cure, you also have to do your own work beyond that. Some, however, end up even more fragmented and a number of them spin out and spend time in psyche wards because they have split so much due to not being able to integrate the experience. These are the ones that usually come to see me, drawn to my credo of ’Safe Practices.

There are also what I refer to as the Glamourians, those who are all charismatic show and tell but underneath breach peoples personal space either physically, energetically or both.

Shamanism is not a fashionable new age toy to play around with, its not a party for the ego to how far out of it you can get. Its a respected medicine path of insight and like it or not you will end up facing your unconscious hidden shadows in one way or another.

How you face your shadows and who you choose to work with can make all the difference. There are some Shamans of the traditional bent who are really quite hardline, show little empathy and cut to the chase. This can be good for those that have an over inflated sense of self and need to be brought back down to earth so to speak, but it can also add more trauma to someone who is highly sensitive, who has little core strength, along with feeling intimidated by their strong no nonsense approach.

Many years ago, before I found my teacher/guide on this path I was sitting beside a lily pond in the country watching the little turtles swim around. I honestly wanted to dive into that pond and disappear into its murky darkness. The unhealed shadows were so heavy and I felt so isolated I didn’t know how to go on. I swallowed my muddled up pride and called a Shaman that I had once met who seemed to be quite ‘popular’. Shamanism was fairly new to the new age western mindset at the time. This guy was a big powerful man originally from America. I called him up in teary desperation. I got the tough love treatment. He wouldn’t listen to me, he just cut me off again and again without any kindness and lectured me, told me to take about 20 different flower remedies and that was that. I had studied flower remedies in the US a few years back and found that if I took too many at a time I just became more confused and that was confirmed by those who taught me, who were absolute experts in their field. During that low time in front of the pond, I was low on funds (often happens that when you are at your worst funds tend to dry up due to fear of lack in all regards) and there was no way I could afford 20 remedies of a brand I didn’t currently have to put into one bottle, nor did he offer to make some up to send me some.

After the phone call I looked into the pond again, feeling even more defeated with a good does of humiliation to boot. All the turtles had vanished. It seemed no one wanted to listen to my sobbing. Did he want me to get angry so I would get up and feel less helpless? I did come to feel pretty pissed off in regards to his bedside manner. I mean I could have easily decided to throw myself in to the dark depths, as that call felt like a final push of rejection. I was already so damn hard on myself I didn’t need more thumping, I needed to be held in my upset so I could find my way out. It took me a good while to learn that’s how I roll. Fortunately the times I have contemplating leaving this earth have only been a few and I have been stopped from within each time. I also get massively triggered by what I view as unfairness and injustice. So I left the pond, the turtles returned and I made some changes in my life in spite of him. Used my defiant ego to get me up and out of my slump.

After experiencing my life changing breakdown into madness and out the other side I found the teacher who was able hold space for me like no therapist, so called shaman or healer that I had ever met, could.

Sure she was tough at times (and as a human she had her own crap to deal with) but also so incredibly loving and gentle when needed and an absolute phenomenal expert in inner navigation. I was very fragmented. She taught me how to retrieve what was lost.

To this day I credit the back bone of shamanic medicine to her and how she guided me to empower myself without any plant medicine whatsoever. She adapted techniques like aspects of NLP and transpersonal psychology into a contemporary shamanic framework. Guided me the art of inner travel and the impeccable clearing of wounds. I lapped it up like a cat thirsty for milk.

Shamanic wound hunting can be incredibly confronting and at the same time wonderfully liberating. From my sensitive perspective one needs to learn from someone you can trust with your wounds, someone who can hold space for you and at the same time guide you to being your own empowered self. I have always found shamanic journeys for myself and those I guide to be so very enjoyable, even through the tears and the clearing of the pain. Within the multidimensional worlds beyond ordinary reality, it is a fantastic landscape where one can adventure beyond the limitations of the body mind.

People have often referred to me as healer but that word just doesn’t fit with my spirit. I am primarily a guide, a facilitator and a wound tracker.

In my training I was guided to my own self healing. My teacher contained me and guided me so well that did the work myself, and to me that is true empowerment for the long term.

You will face your shadows but with all the safety in place and I will be walking right beside you as you do and making sure your spirit returns to your body…. but its you that will do the healing work and you who will gain inner confidence in your own healing abilities.

This is why I refer to myself as a Contemporary Shaman, so I can teach you in these modern times how to empower yourself within this modern earth life time frame.

I chose the path less travelled and made it into my own and from that, being of service to others filled my life with greater meaning. Today for example I guided a session with a woman who travels very well. I had to go out straight after I had packed up and cleared from the session. As I opened the door I became aware that I was beaming, trilling a happy tune and smiling from ear to ear at how happy she seemed with the results.I wasn’t smiling cause I thought ‘Oh Im so brilliant!’ I was smiling because she was free of a wound she had been carrying for a long time. And she did that. She freed herself. That brings me so much joy.

Please be mindful in your awareness of shamanic therapists of glamour and high prices. Make sure you chose ones that have walked the shadows lands themselves. Read about their experiences in life. If they have nothing to share in that regard, you might want to question why they haven’t. If they put on a big show, they may be pumping it up for a reason that is not authentic.

Shamanism isn’t learnt through books and hanging out with Indigenous Shamans, getting a certificate in some weekend course, or going through crap and naming yourself one because its a great way to make some dosh.

Shamanism is the lived experience of dancing between the multidimensional adventures of shadows and light and being able to navigate well enough to reclaim what has been lost and reclaim it.

Blessings

Odette

(c)OdetteNightsky2021

Grief, The Sacred Rite Of Passage.

Grief is one of the most important journeys we will ever experience. It has a way of taking us to places within ourselves that we never thought possible. It brings up such strong emotions for so many. There are those that don’t seem to express their feelings, tending to shut down and detach, but its not that they don’t feel, its more like they have learned through not wanting to experience deep emotions, to lock things in drawers deep down in their psyche. These people peeled back are generally far more terrified of their emotions than the ones who express them, even floridly.

The transient time during them leaving the body and fully letting go, I find to be the most challenging energetically as their are between worlds so to speak, but once on the other side, its a powerful release.

Right now this is happening in my personal life. A dear friend from a long time back is on her way out of her earth suit. I can feel her in the betwixt world now and the love and sorrow of those who will miss her dearly.

Many people want to know if those they love are alright on the other side and that can bring great comfort but often they ask for themselves, as they are the ones that are finding it so difficult to let go, due to what is left unsaid or undone. Time and time again I have had messages from those that pass over. They are no longer trapped in these earth bound emotions and thoughts regardless of what happened. They are free of them, completely.

They often nudge me to encourage people to stop blaming themselves and punishing those they may be angry with for not being there for them. To those that have passed over, these things, these dense feelings are heavy, in comparison to them being so light.

(Ghosts are another subject all together, for another post. They trap themselves via strong emotions, yet many can be released and some need to be in that state for their own spiritual evolvement.)

Losing someone dear to you can carve a deep hole in your psyche due to all the feelings and challenges that have been lying in wait to be cleared. Thats why Elizabeth Kubler Ross was so helpful in understanding the grief cycle. None of the feelings on that wheel come in any order and they hit at random and unexpected moments. Rage is common and should not be shut down but safety expressed where possible. People often lash out around someones death and often to those closest as it also bring up a sense of lack of other things that may have meaning to them on some other level.

Feelings are very hard to manage during these times and there is no right or wrong way to feel but projecting your pain onto others, really doesn’t help anyone so if you can share with someone safe or purge it in some safe way, it will be more healing than bringing more discord. If you are verbally abused, do your best to find a way to move away, drop it, let it go for your own wellbeing and everyone else’s sake in name of that person who has passed.

Journal or paint and express your hurt in a safe way and then pack it up and set it free somehow. If the death of someone brings up things that you can no longer stomach then see it as an opportunity for healing and clearing of that which no longer serves, without adding more discord. Maybe you knew this a long time ago but now death has brought it right up to the surface to be healed and cleared.

I am often asked what happens when people die. Where do they go? I can only speak from my own experience, as that is how I learn what is true for me personally.

When my middle brother passed, I was shattered to say the least. I sobbed uncontrollably in the chapel, more than anyone. Seeing his body lying there looking like he was sleeping but knowing no one was home was enlightening but at the same time devastating. I was the only member of my family to go in and see him in the open casket. The man in there insisted he stay, probably fearing I would faint. I wanted to be alone and he kept insisting till I snapped at him and told him to go. I needed to be alone with my brother and after saying it nicely several times, I just lost my cool. My mother shut down completely, my older brother was stoic but couldn’t wait to leave, and when I wasn’t trying to support my middle brothers child and his wife, I was a mess on the floor of the shower recess, sobbing my silent tears. I hoped he was alright on the other side, being the atheist as he was. I wanted him to come into my dreams so I could be sure but I wanted so hard, nothing came. Something that many who grieve the loss of a loved one have in common.

A year to the day he died, the dream came. I saw a beautiful green field rising up from a lush valley of trees and a babbling brook. On a rock wall, just high enough to sit on, we sat together. So close. I could feel the heat of his arm within his checkered flannel shirt on my skin. It was so lucidly clear, even now as I write so many years later, it never fades. I said to him,’ So, how is it? He pushed towards me, and laughed. ‘Your and all your spiritual shit! How did you know?’ I laughed hard. We had always had heated debates about spiritual existence. I was never an advocate of the religious path for more than a blink of an eye, but I was totally into ghosts the paranormal, reincarnation, graveyards and all things otherworldly.

My brother never once gave in during a battle of words when he was alive. A very fixed minded Scorpio who would not relent on what he was sure of, yet here he was poking me in the ribs while chuckling, admitting that I was right! I laughed again at the wonderful cosmic joke of it all, and then asked him more about where he was. He said he had been in this healing place for a while and was ready to moving on. I looked around at this healing place, it was so calm, serene and although it may have been a projection of what I imagine to be a healing place, it made perfect sense to me, due to what my brother suffered from before his passings.

I have felt many others who pass over from a difficult illness move into that same kind of space, its always very calm and they feel very taken care of.

Other people that have passed over who have shown me they are at peace, often show themselves in an environment that seems to fit in with their personality type. I also often see them in their last moments as they are transitioning out to the other side. The first time was seeing my best friends death, as the car was crushed and I could see and feel her last moments. To those that want to know, be assured that they are always out of there body before the impact and last breath.

The expansion of space when they move through to the other side is such a liberating feeling. Often times they share how heavy the body felt before they left it.

In suicides it can take some time and the healing place in my experience is always the next step. There is no judgement, no punishment of any kind other than the struggle to release their own anguish. And they are always lovingly supported.

I will never forget my friend who took his life coming into my dream after a year had passed . The warmth of the spirit body was amazing to feel as he embraced me to his chest.

So knowing this, experiencing this other side connection, does it make me grieve any less? No of course not. When someone close to me leaves there body, I will grieve the loss of their human being-ness. I will cry, I will mourn. And I will make sure they are on their way with all the love I can muster.

Do I now still grieve for my best friend, my friend that suicided, my father, my brother, my child that was not born into flesh? No, I don’t. Do I have moments of sentimentality and wishing they were around? Occasionally yes. of course I do. Do I feel them around me? My father, yes and strongly when he comes, my brother once in a while, my unborn child, yes within the shamanic realms when she helps me with fragmented aspects of peoples wounded child. There is a deeper connection within me in relation to them now, and I cherish it.

Many people fragment when death occurs as it can be very traumatising depending on who and under what circumstances. So its really important to practice things like recapitulation daily and if you are drowning see a grief counsellor and or book a session or two of Soul Retrieval with someone who is an expert in this field. (Not just someone who advertise it as part of along list of what they do, find and expert who specialises in this specific practice.)

Grief is a giant wave that bring us to our knees. In my experience, when a person leaves there body they do hang around in close proximity at the very least till after the funeral. Are they able to move on and still be available? Yes many are. In the otherworld there is no time, no past, present or future as such. An aspect of each being will always be available to access without them needing to be anywhere. The souls consciousness is part of great mystery and is part of the whole. Wether we can receive what is being communicated, well that for us to work on.

Each breath you take through the wave of pain, see yourself staying open even in the agony of loss. Death and birth are kindreds, they both can be incredibly painful and transitions can feel beyond uncomfortable, but it is part of our journey here.

Grief is one of the most important rites of passage on the path of life. In shamanism death is part of life and the pain takes you deeper and teaches you about your capacity to love, let go, connect to the otherworld and how far your wounds run. Its painful, very painful but also it takes you to a place like no other where you are able if you are willing to reassess and put your life into perspective. It is a grand master of a teacher and a transformer like no other.

Blessings

Odette

Disowning the Dark

If you knew that the dark didn’t always represent evil or malice

would you be less afraid?


When I was a child I was terrified, absolutely terrified of the dark, mainly because I felt the lacking of my ‘sight’. Even without sight though, I could still feel things so easily. Things other couldn’t. Was it may imagination or my intuition, I was too young to know or even question. I just reacted. Usually by protecting my back in some way, as it always seemed to come from behind me, the fear that is…running up my spine

I had a reoccurring dream over quite a few years where I would be walking in the moonlight through a gate at night into the garden of someones house. There was no one to be seen, but a deep sense of foreboding fear was acute. The quiet of the night even under a blue colored moonlight, disturbed me. It was too quiet. Something was in that house, inside those dark windows beyond the verandah that I stood near. Regardless of how many times the dream repeated itself and still to this day can see it clear as day, I never found out any more about it and I had never been in a garden like that as a child nor remembered a house like it. The not knowing was the main issue. If we view it from a Jungian perspective, the house represents the inner psyche and I was standing outside of mine, afraid of what was inside, not knowing what was in there. The not knowing of my inner self, the fear of the unknown, which often happens in the dark, you have no sight, you cant see, you don’t know. My adult self now in difference knowing what it knows, would walk through the garden and into the house and says ‘hello’ and interact and clear the way to what needs to be brought back into balance

In new age circles there is a lot of talk about staying in the light and raising ones vibration. I am all for raising ones vibration but staying in the light instantly switches me to viewing a dualism mindset. One or the other, the good or the bad, the devil or god. Our inner light will never be sustainable unless we balance it with the understanding of the dark.

The dark is the FEMININE. The MASCULINE is the light. The light can be unbalanced just as much as the dark. When new agers say do not give any attention to the dark they are disowning the feminine and the ability to be more whole. One can be blinded by the light so much that they can no longer view the picture clearly and lose empathy for those lost in the shadows of their own psyche.

The dark is simplest form is the unseen and the unknown. When you face the unseen it can be seen and brought into balance. You can use the light to do that, like bringing a candle into the dark to shine a light on what needs to be seen, but not to blind you from what’s waiting to be acknowledged.

In shamanic lore, the darkness is of equal importance as is the light. To understand what someone is dealing with emotionally often needs to be hunted down in the darkness of the psyche so it can be seen and acknowledged and healing can take place for the benefit of all. In Chinese Medicine the balance of the Yin and Yang is of paramount importance. In Buddhism, one doesn’t ignore the darkness, one observes it and in Tibetan Buddhism, one then negotiates and works with it via compassion.

I finally overcame my fear of the darkness by having no other choice but to face it both internally and externally. Once I understood the dynamic internally the external was much easier to overcome. Internally I had to face my fear of the ‘unknown’ which lead me to the known.

When understanding the darkness as the feminine and the moon representing wisdom, intuition birth, death and spirituality, it helped me understand that if I turned my back on the darkness due to fear I would not be able to go deeper in experiencing growth in the areas of wisdom, intuition, etc.

Facing the darkness came via shamanic journeying. It was much like going on an adventure, but contained and with a guide that I felt safe with. I dived into trigger issues, patterns of behaviour, lives that were not pleasant and faced feelings and beings that normally would have scared me witless. But I did it in a way that to me was enjoyable. I guess it helped that I am a very curious being and like a detective I want to find out more. I have always been interested in how the human psyche works and facing the darkness in me was driven by that.

Did I think I would get swallowed up by the darkness? At times, absolutely. However the more I said yes to facing the uncomfortable stuff the easier it became. I didn’t just dive into it without a parachute. I learned mindfulness, established sanctuary, spirit animals and more to stabilize my psyche so I had the courage and inner support to do it. And those tools were like a backbone that held strong no matter what came my way. And believe me some spine tingling scary stuff came my way. I had to look into heavy issues that I had blocked in my memory, deal with invading entities, horrid negative thought forms and other lives where some were just heartbreaking to be witness to and more. But in facing all the unseen world and clearing it from my present life, I felt so much lighter and freer. I raised my vibration naturally. Clearing inner debris does that.

Now the darkness is a natural part of me, not disowned in any way. I still work on aspects of me that are not balanced and can get out of whack. Although I am much more forgiving of myself nowadays and that is due to owning feelings that were shut in the dark for ages. We are all a work in progress to find balance. People are often told by leading psychologists to embrace and take responsibility for ones emotions. There is a need for it especially in a world where emotions have become very out of whack. The imbalance in the world right now is pretty huge and its going to take a lot of re-balancing, and we can help by working on our own sense of balance between our inner light and darkness.

We are the starlight that meets the daylight beyond dualism

Blessings
Odette

The Inner Gardener

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I have often been told and even just recently, that I am a really good gardener of the mind and psyche. Personally, I am grateful that others see and acknowledge that trait in me because I have worked hard to get here and yet I know there is so much more to do and grow.

 However, I have yet to evolve as a good gardener of a 3D earth garden. Maybe in my next chapter I when I resettle again I will take that challenge on as well as my procrastination for playing the guitar.

For now, let’s just stick to the inner gardener analogy

If we view the mind and psyche as a garden from a deeper soul perspective we then can view our wise self, our soul self as the inner gardener/caretaker. Let’s use the inner sanctuary as an example of one’s state of mind or psyche and a reflection of where one is at on a deeper level.

Initially, when people first encounter their sanctuary it is an image connected with what they see as a place of peace and safety. So the first vision is usually quite beautiful. After a while, though things change. They arrive expecting it to be exactly the same but they find the forest is no longer a forest but now a desert, a clear day has become dark, a lush landscape is now dry and brittle, something is there that doesn’t feel right, what once felt abundant is now barren….and on it goes. The first thought is usually quite negative often a sense of self-blame, but with a little encouragement, things can and do transform especially when they realise that they are the primary landscaper and gardener of their inner space.David Brusa

Here is a bit of Inner Landscaping Guidance.

You may be disappointed or uncomfortable with the way it appears or feels but just for a few breaths sit with how it is and accept it, be receptive to the state that it’s in. Look around, feel out your instincts. You may want to call on a guide or animal kin to ask what’s happening if you need clarity. If they don’t turn up, don’t panic. They may be just stepping back so you can learn on your own. Fear may be in your way, so put one hand over your heart and the other over your belly and say hello to the fear, take a deep breath in and a long breath out literally smiling into the fear as a loving parent would do with a scared child. This opens up the trust receptors so you can receive the support of your inner kin and helps you connect beyond the thinking mind.

If you are naturally intuitive, you might pick up that this reflects a part of where you are at in life right now…. How you feel and think via your thoughts and or feelings.

After sitting in acceptance (you don’t have to like it, just acknowledge it )
You can move into being the cosmic gardener/landscaper/caretaker of your inner sanctuary.

  • If it’s dark, would you like to bring out the sun?
  • If it’s dry, would you like it to rain?
  • If it’s barren would you like to plant some seeds or seedlings and grow flowers, plants, trees?
  • Is there something in there that you would like to be removed (remember to acknowledge it, say thank you for coming and if need be get assistance to get it to leave. (If you have great challenges with this make an appointment to see me. )
  • If its a desert would you like to explore the new terrain? Or create an Oasis?
    If everything is overgrown, would you like to make a clearing?

Think of yourself as a spiritual landscape artist in how you want to transform the spacemind-garden-Igor-Morski. Get creative! There is no limit to your imagination other than you thinking small.

Some people who have a lot of fear find that their sanctuaries are initially more like rooms or pods underneath the Shamans Tree, this is not uncommon. They think they need an enclosed place to feel safe and protected. So I often gently suggest they create a window, hole or door to that connects to the outside sanctuary. Once they are out of the room or pod, their vibration shifts quite a lot and their ability to receive kicks in so much more. If they still need the room or pod that’s fine, but almost all of those I have journeyed don’t seem to need it anymore. The inner sanctuary via the Shamans Tree has its own natural energetic boundaries and as a landscaper, you might want to grow more sturdy trees, or bring mountains closer, or surround your sanctuary with sacred stones….Be naturally creative as you like.

What about weeds you ask?

Well, if you are surrounded by gnarly weeds, would you like to pull them out? Maybe make it rain first so all the soil is soft, or get out your cosmic singing whipper snipper, and then if you feel called,  put them into a pot and drink the juice. Weeds have great medicinal properties and they are appearing for a reason so you might research the weed perhaps for its properties.

Your mind without a purpose can be a negative slave master or with a purpose a creative cosmic landscaper. The mind loves a job, give it a creative one and get gardening.

Me in the woodsBlessings
Odette

 

(c)Odette Nightsky 2020)

Imagination Is Not A Dirty Word

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Without imagination, the world would be incredibly bland, grey, beige and boring. It would be filled with grey boxes and grey-clad people. There would be no art, no sciences, zilch creativity.

In the halls of perceived madness, too much imagination is unhealthy and when it takes over and the person loses insight, it is categorised as Hallucinations; seeing or hearing something that is not there. However, the person seeing or hearing whatever it is, it’s definitely there within the experience, as they themselves can see it, hear it feel part of it. To them, it is indeed there. It may be not what it seems and one’s reaction to it can bring challenges and risks, but they do see it, they do hear it. So the definition to me is quite misleading.

Imagination is defined as; The faculty or action of forming new ideas, images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses. The ability of the mind to be creative or resourceful. The last sentence resonates with me the most.

“The ability of the mind to be creative and resourceful.”

I always introduce the concept of imagination to others, as a doorway to other dimensions. Unless you are ripped open and fly into non-ordinary reality so fast you can’t think, the way to move into the multidimensional landscape is primarily ‘through’ the imagination and indeed the ‘senses.’ Shamans of old would use the drum along with their inner vision to navigate the hidden landscapes that the normal folk could not. Without an inner vision, they could not travel and some used plant medicine to enhance that vision.

The beauty of Contemporary Shamanic tools learned in line with the traditional guidelines of journeying is that you can head out into these landscapes, navigate the terrain and the encounters and then return back to this ordinary reality and use what you have discovered and experienced to assist you in enriching your daily life.

One of the primary issues that people find when they move in deeper into this inner dimensional world beyond the sanctuary, power animals and the lovely stuff, is that they will get lost, lose their grip, and go mad as they look deeper into their psyche and wounds. The path of Shamanism is not new age, it’s ancient and powerful and it deserves that respect.

And ex beloved of mine was very practised in the Shamanic lore and landscapes and probably one of the main reasons we stayed together for so long was that we spoke the same language (other than the plant medicine which was not my pathway) He would often wake up in a cold sweat being chased by ugly things in his dreams, over and over and over again. I did not journey him as we kept those boundaries quite strong. Your partner should not become your client so to speak. But I was always surprised he didn’t go into it Shamanically and dive deeper into his inner darkness to unpack it. On reflection, I am sure this had something to do with his emotional challenges in life and resistance to healing.

You see I am a deep diver, always have been. It’s not that I don’t want to cruise at the top of the ocean on the wave, its that I have always gone deep liking it or not. Fortunately, spirit also taught me how to breathe underwater and float to the surface again. That’s the way I learn.

I remember once when I was in Shamanic Training and heading into an atrocious others532139898657235987_p3_i1_w640 life experience. Back then they were referred to as ‘Past lives’. Nowadays I prefer to call them ‘Other lives’ and move beyond the linear viewpoint.

I recall moving through into the life that I found myself in and having the inner witness aware enough to be an ‘observer’ of the acute pain and rage. The life was filled with heavy deep running emotions, ones that would normally bring me to my knees and shatter me, but with my teacher holding space and being the best navigator I could ask for, I moved through it all and out the other side. Then with my imagination in tow, we cleared the debris within the spirit body of that life so I no longer carried the burden of it in this particular incarnation. Was this horrible life my imagination? Well, at the beginning as I was listening to her voice take me to the tree and into my sanctuary, yes I am sure it was and then as I travelled to where I was meant to heal, the vision that arose in me, I didn’t like, nor did I want. What did I have to do with this picture, this movie I have found myself in? I couldn’t relate at all. I’m not like that! In nightmares, I have now the ability to wake myself up if it gets too much or I don’t like where it’s headed. In this journey as a conscious willing participant, I could say stop! No more! I don’t want to go on! Get me the hell out of here! My teacher would have supported me if I was stubbornly determined, but being a curious being that I am and her being such a great guide, I wanted to know more about my part in this story, why would I do such a thing? I trusted the process, breathed through the fears and by the end with the cleaning up of the wounding, which my teacher was an absolute master at, the shadow imprint of that life was lifted.

When I came out of it after a big release cry, some grounding food and a cup of something warm, I wrote it all down as I find writing a brilliant reflection tool. As I wrote, I knew that this was not my imagination. Too many details, unexpected twists that I didn’t see coming, too many links to other things that I had no idea of and more importantly if it was my imagination I would have pushed for a different adventure to be created.

My imagination was the boat that took me to the shore of that life which had such a profound and life-changing impact. The imbalance that I always felt between my view of my ‘good self’ and ‘bad self’ was dissolved and from then on when I met something dark, be that an entity or thought-form I no longer ran from it and if I did feel scared, the fear was soon diffused and transformed.

The other week I was suffering from an upset stomach and felt awful emotionally. I refer to it as ‘Falling down the hole.’ I was weeping a lot, my eyes were stinging in pain, totally sound sensitive and irritable all at the same time. I am very impeccable about clearing myself after clients so I thought it was just my own stuff.

Having my stomach being so upset did not help my headspace. I threw everything at it, backed off on any foods that would exacerbate the yucky feeling, but nothing seemed to work. I was under a black cloud of depressing sludge, highly sensitive and desperately wanting to be completely alone. I do get the irony of that in these current world circumstances but on mycosmic own, I am better at sourcing the origins of where things originate. I went drumming and for a moment I thought it lifted but after about ten minutes the dark sludge-like feeling returned.

Mornings are when I get my best downloads/inner messages for my own wellbeing. They seem to ping inside me between sleep and wake. The following morning a ping sounded off.  ‘Sit and go within.’ I was still feeling horrid and my stomach squelched upon movement hence not being in good mind for sitting in insightful meditation and the tears were close to brimming over yet again.

After a small breakfast, I had the house to myself which is a rarity. I lite the candle, burnt the white sage, called my kin in and sat in receptivity. At this point, yes I used my imagination to help me open up, so I looked and felt for anything that was ‘yucky.’ Instantly I saw a dark shadow hovering over me, much like a cloak of black. Didn’t analyse just observed. Then I checked my psychic body and from the nape of my neck, I saw dark black metal claws burrowing into the open hole. Metal to me has always represented invasive shadow energy. I have learnt this over time in my encounters with unbalanced beings. So I moved in to clear it. I have mentioned before that this hole is often where shadow debris gets in. Mine for some reason that I have yet to grasp stays permanently open, always has. I have tried various things but it seems unnatural for me to close it. I am looking into that further now. Anyway, with the claws being released and returned to the source, via intent, acknowledgement, breath and yes imagination, for the otherworldly tools I may use to help release them, a very long dark eel-like thing flipped out. As I pulled on it and burped repeatedly, it showed itself to be a cross between an eel, an octopus and a giant slug. The burps kept coming as I removed this creature being, sent it back to the source and checked that nothing was left from it. Another ping message came to my insightful state. “You may feel somewhat bruised emotionally for a while but it’s now gone.” Then I checked in to where I attracted this Octyeelslug thing from. And zoom, I went straight to the origins and got the answer and what I had absorbed. You see as much as I clean myself psychically I am fundamentally an empath and am often of service to people who have suffered deep wounds. Most of the time I can be in my space with them but occasionally my inner empathy chip gets triggered and then I am open to taking some debris on.

It’s not their fault how it manifests in me. Once I absorb it, it’s then my responsibility. They didn’t send it to me, they just didn’t know what to do with it themselves. As a Contemporary Shaman of my particular bent, my path is to literally transform what comes through me. And that’s exactly what I had to do. Transform the yuck feeling in me and release it. Without my imagination, I would never have been able to trust what I saw and experienced to work with it. Without my imagination, I would have been stuck with the darkness above me and the yuck plugged into the back of my neck and it squelching around my belly.

That particular inner journey work took me 15 minutes tops. I got up and was fully released. I could feel my self, my vibration my peak state again, I was still a tad sensitive but as the day went on it completely eased. A day later I went to see my Herbalist/ Acupuncturist (yes he is working but in full accordance with the hygiene rules we have here) and asked him from an Acupuncture perspective about that point at the back of the neck. He said it was the C7, a very powerful point and that the meridians that spread out of it affect the whole ‘Immunity’ of the body. And in my mind, the immunity of the spirit. I had a cupping cup put on that spot before the rest of the treatment and with my centre of awareness returned, I moved into that point consciously. There was no debris there in any way. It was clean, and now it was getting some much needed soothing. I love cupping, other people think I’m nuts….ha! Go figure.

If I did not trust in my imagination from the early days of experiencing such invasion by shadow energies I really don’t feel I would have been able to release my self from it and the other horrific shadow encounters that I experienced.

Imagination on its own is fine, but it’s the navigation skills that one really needs to go hand in hand with it. Without that, you can be open too many impressions and visions and without knowing how to work with them safely you could do more harm than good and get yourself into a right energetic muddle.

My imagination helped me to create the original ‘Meditation for Sensitives’ in my first book, The Bridge Between Two Worlds. A Shamans view of Schizophrenia & Acute Sensitivity. After all these years, it still works, still proves itself every time. I clearly remember sitting on my bed in the room of the old haunted house (Yes it was fully haunted, but that’s another story) and being so bloody tired that the invasion just wouldn’t stop. Putting my back against the wall, not that I knew then but that hole at the C7 point always felt vulnerable. I trusted in what arose, what I saw, what I experienced. What did I have to lose? I was already going mad. Were they hallucinations? Seeing and hearing things that were not there? No, they were very real to me, I might not have been able to see them fully in this 3D world but when I closed my eyes….they were right there in my face, harassing me, tormenting me and invading me. And the voices came mostly when my head hit the pillow eyes open or not. I met them on their own turf (in non-ordinary reality) and learned the best way to negotiate for my own well being in that realm. That took some imagination. And the proof was that it worked. I was set free enough to then find my way to the teachings that have deepened my abilities, refined my recipe of wellness and held space for me ever since.

bc4327aeac1bed384f62454e0f8d3b1fImagination is not a dirty word. It’s the key to the door, use it along with good navigation tools and you will always find your way through the toughest times.

If you want to learn how to navigate better, book a session with me on Skype or Facetime.

Blessings

Odette

(c)Odette Nightsky 2020
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Compassion Loving Kindness & Recapitulation In Times of Crisis

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This time in history is like no other. Unlike previous generations, we have not had to live through world wars where all countries are involved. Humanity is facing a different kind of war with this virus pandemic. Many have become fearful and greedy. People are selling rolls of toilet paper for at least $300 a pop, fights are breaking out, people are feeling vulnerable like never before as so many things have shut down, been put off, and mere survival is becoming paramount for many. Some governments are helping those affected, others are not. Regardless, everyone is facing it, together albeit in social isolation.

So what do we do with this new experience, these limits which are enforced for everyone’s wellbeing? How do we manage the collective impact that is keeping many awake at night?

I can only speak for myself, but in my view, this had to happen in a world that has become so deeply disconnected in so many ways. We needed a bit of a wake-up slap to get us to reconnect on a deeper level, and the slap is a huge one even for the young who think of themselves as superhuman.

Cultivating your inner world

This is where I feel the practice of shamanic techniques a real gift. Over the years of journeying within and using the tools of inner world connection and clearing, I have built up this inner link which is a blink of an eye away when I need it. The inner resources feel infinite and nourishing. Its something that all of us can access if we give it time and dedication.

The well of abundance is full on the inside the more I connect. I don’t pray, I don’t plead for help, I simply choose to connect. I imbibe in the inner waters of the sacred, just by being present within my sanctuary and learning from what comes forth and trusting in what I need to learn from. The other day I went into my sanctuary and cried with happiness at the connections with my kin. My inner child, her little hand touched my face so gently, it was so real. Tears dropped down my cheeks. One of my animal kin who I had not seen for a while (some go and come back depending on one’s needs) flew in and their sound echoed through me like say a singing bowl might do close to your ear.587746ff6320613e33bbe5dba0deac7f_XL Never underestimate the power of the inner connection and how it can nourish. I encourage you in these times of isolation to feed yourself from within. You may be a parent and or carer like me and me somewhat limited in time but simple things like putting down the social media addiction before you go to bed or when you wake up and give yourself ten minutes of a journey can make all the difference.

Compassion Loving Kindness

There were times in my younger years where I used to get really shitty that others didn’t reach out to me and connect as I always seemed to be the one making sure others were ok. ‘How come it’s always me that calls people!? Hmpf!’ It was all about what I wasn’t getting rather than looking at what I could give…unconditionally. That has been humanities model, what can I get out of this as a consumer. It’s a one-way street mentality. The me, me, me, mindset.

What I discovered was that in giving and caring without needing my own poor me agenda met, the connection vibration flowed easily and it didn’t matter if they reciprocated. The giving was unconditional and nourished me at the same time and they always seemed really touched by my reaching out.

The beginning of the light bulb learning went off when I did a Compassion Loving Kindness meditation retreat (Metta) on the top of a mountain on a beautiful Island in 11817245_1150990671583209_1476485602801779405_nAsia. Each time we meditated we first cleared our minds to then move into the state of self-compassion (Not narcissistic me, me me, love. Let’s be clear about that) then and only then did we intentionally fill our own inner cup to then emanated this vibration out to those in need, be that family, crisis, the planet, animals etc. You see compassion loving-kindness is not being a passive doormat who gives away all their own energy and is then left empty. Compassion loving kindness is becoming a channel of loving life force. So this practice teaches us how to unblock that flow so we can be of service without losing any of our own life force.

Lots of people in the conscious movement are sharing about t sending love out to the world and those in need in these current times of crisis, which is lovely and heartfelt, however, say for example you are in a stressed headspace or you have some fear running round in your mind and your nervous system is quite jittery because of it. You sit with good intention and you think you are doing the right thing by sending, emanating love and healing out there, yet you have not yet brought your own mind to a state of quiet and have yet to fill your own inner cup. What you send out will be mixed with your fear, your jitteriness, your swirling mind. Is that going to help?

Of course, we need to send loving vibrations out there, but we need to clear our own stream first and refill it before we do, simple as that. Do you need to be a Buddhist nun or monk to do that or have meditated for years and years so your mind is as quiet as a mouse? Not at all.

This is where the shamanic technique of ‘Recapitulation’ can come in handy. I love a good complementary blend of practices. When you do some rounds of recapitulation, by blowing out the fear, the stress, the overwhelm or whatever is in the way of the quiet mind, and then breathing your own life force back, you will be able to sit as a clear vessel and fill your own cup so you can then send it to those in need devoid of debris.

Recapitulation is one of the oldest and easiest shamanic techniques that has stood the test of time and can be done premeditation, pre-sleep, on the loo, in the shower, in a parked car, in the bath, while you’re weeding etc.

Below is the exercise from my workbook for you to practice during these times before you move into the quiet mind state pre-filling your own cup and sending your compassion out there, or for any other build-up you want to release.

Recapitulation Exercise

Remember the situation with the person
In your mind make it as real as you possibly can, with feeling, images and thoughts and keeping this in focus….
Start with you head turned fully to the left, turn your head as slowly as you can all the way to the right, breathing IN, breathing your energy back from the situation with the person.
Then turn you head slowly, back to the left, breathing OUT all the way, breathing out any energy that is not yours.
Continue these head turns, breathing as slowly as you can, IN from left to right and breathing OUT just as slowly, turning your head from right to the left. Notice your breath, don’t force it, just notice if you are breathing more on the IN breath or more on the OUT breath. Are you taking more energy in or giving more energy back? It is not important which of the breaths is the stronger, it is just energy and there is no right or wrong about the situation. Keep turning your head and breathing this way until your breath is mild and gentle and equal in both directions. Then turn your head from LEFT to RIGHT to LEFT with no breath at all, this acknowledges completion of RECAPITULATION with the person. Cut cords with the person and all of the feelings and thought from that time

Practice you’re medicine tools now more than ever in the service of yourself and others.

Plant good seeds within and send loving seeds on the wind to those in need.

Blessings

Odette

(c)OdetteNightsky2020

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Meet my friend ANGER

180c9343e233b4de9a3d9ab1be3cc290As a kid of the 60’s I wasn’t allowed to play with ‘Anger’ any more after the cute tantrums became not so cute. My friend ‘Anger’ would still try to pop up every now and then slamming the door or storming off in a huff, she really helped me express my frustration.

As time went on she was unacceptable and socially inappropriate. She was made fun of and mocked and shamed for appearing. To me, she was someone I could count on to stand up for me when I needed help but bit by bit she became more of a liability for me in my cultural environment and so I chose to banish her to survive. I banished my friend called ‘Anger’ into a deep dark cave somewhere far out of reach. As a girl born from parents who were of the 30’s generation, I had to be a nice girl, I had to acquiesce to my future role as a young ‘lady’ and anger was not part of that programming. So I adapted to please as am sure many girls of my era did. Even though I envied the rebels, I was a programmed pleaser.

She stayed banished when the bullies made my life a living hell as I moved from school to school.

She stayed banished when I was humiliated and ostracised by my peers as an amusement sport.

She stayed banished when eleven girls kept me up all night interrogating me, trapping and surrounding me in my bed while accusing me of stealing when they knew all along it was another girl in that gang using me as a plaything to flush her out. They had planted something in my bag while I was in the shower and were like relentless hyenas.

I vaguely recall even being invited to have a cup of tea with them after. I sat in with my knees to my chest sipping at the cup in traumatic numb bewilderment. I didn’t even drink tea! Being the pleaser still….

I recall the next day with clarity as I listened to my friend’s anger, burst out of her banishment. I stood small on the landing at the elite boarding house across from the large tall girl from the night before as she told me of the truth of the framing.

The realisation of total unjustified injustice, snapped me open. My friend ‘Anger’ could not be silenced any longer. She arose like a volcano from the banished deep and shouted the place down for all to hear (small people sooner or later learn to garner a loud voice simply for survival if nothing else) Swear words were spat out like those of a bogan pub brawler. Not ladylike, in any way! The big girls eyes bulged wide with shock.

Instead of being proud of myself for standing up, all I could think about was where was the courage of my friend ‘Anger’ the night just gone….Why didn’t she give them a good shouting off, or scream for help or swear at the top of her lungs when I needed her the most, when I was terrified of being eaten alive by those hyena’s? I mean I was not guilty of any crime.

Upon reflection, the key to the trigger was the injustice, finding out I was an innocent prey toy in their agenda. What they did was wrong. Big time.

The girl that was the thief had befriended me as a new border. That night as they all entered the room she sat on the ground next to me, unleashing interrogation hell as did the others. I never found out if she felt remorse. She was thrown out of school soon after for her crime as apparently there was a lot of stealing going on. On the landing where my friend ‘Anger reappeared, the big girl tried to say sorry but the volcanic fire was way too hot. Anger told her where to stick it in no uncertain terms.

That was the first time I recall my shadow friend coming back in full swing. I think to be honest the power of her outburst scared me. I was left shaking and in tears and although I finally stood up for myself, I wasn’t sure what my friend ‘Anger’ was capable of anymore as she was pretty full-on. Some of my thoughts were pretty dark and vicious…what if they were let out, what could she, I be capable of?

It took many years to learn that the shadow friend I had banished wasn’t all that bad she was just sick to the back teeth of being ignored, not by others…..by me.

I didn’t know how to integrate her, accept or befriend her. I was on that trajectory of originalbeing a pleaser and I so wanted to be liked more than anything, due to my deep insecurities.

So my friend decided to transform herself into the invisible Ice Queen. Hardly any cruel words were ever spoken but if they were, they were sharp as a knife and penetratingly cold as the dead of Siberia’s winter. The ice was protecting me from harm so no-one could come close. My friend ‘Anger’ was doing it all because it was her job to keep me safe no matter what. Volcanic was too scary, so she morphed into ice, for me. I felt her arising in me but I couldn’t see her, she was invisible remember?

I can tell you that both volcanic anger and ice anger have the same lethal vibration.

Then came the day when I saw her as she had truly become.

A therapist asked me to draw what I thought my anger looked like as I was being triggered by my partner’s behaviour and resentment and unfairness was cycling round and round in my head with no resolve. I surrendered to the process and let myself draw. What came out of the drawing was an image that I don’t need a piece of paper to remember….its forever imprinted.

I drew a skinny, bitter, long-nailed nasty mouthed woman. Standing in the centre of a barbed wire fence and cursing anyone that would hurt me. Swear words of viciousness and protectiveness were written close by. It was everything I deemed ugly and cruel.

When I was a kid she was stubborn, bossy and strong-minded. I see her standing with her chin and chest out all proud of her tiny self, but she was also full of love and joy and adventure and held no ill will. I have always been a person that does not like unfairness on any level and my little friend had transformed into this bitter nasty protector that wasn’t going to let anyone get close enough to hurt me, ever! Silly because she couldn’t really protect me from the hurt I just got frozen in it instead.

It took me a good while to realise that the reason she became this way was because I had shoved her into the dark for so long out of fear. It wasn’t my fault that she was banished to the dark cave, it was how I was programmed via what behaviour was acceptable. My parents didn’t know any better and they were only trying to instil principles of kindness and respect, even though they negated to realise that the other emotions are is also as vitally important to a happy and healthy disposition.

When people ask me how to deal with a difficult emotion like anger, my answer is always the same. The only way through is by making friends, whether you are an Ice King or Queen or a Volcanic exploding Dragon.il_570xN.1692280634_dhyp

In meeting and embracing my friend anger fully, she now feels accepted, respected and relevant. Do I take her advice when she goes off and wants to say awful things, well no, but I take time and listen to how she is feeling, I will write her purging words in my private journal without any judgement – devoid of any censorship. When she does rear her head I know it’s like a train crossing signal, she is feeling protective of me feeling hurt and I assure her I will take good steps to communicate and work with my feeling safely one way or the other. I will never banish her again, she is part of my gestalt, my whole self. And believe me, by experience I can tell you it has helped ENORMOUSLY.

I have more of that inner friend of the early day’s qualities. I still walk with my chin up and out and my chest lifted. And if I feel strongly about something I will communicate it in a way both myself and others can handle. I still get mighty riled up when I see injustice and unfairness but I accept that that’s part of who I am and it has also lead me to my path of service. My inner child is happier, safer. I am no longer afraid of my protector like I used to be afraid of the dark. There are no caves to hide in any more and I know how to melt the ice.

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I am a work in progress as we all are.
Perfection, Pah!

Pick up a pen or a paintbrush and say hello to your protector and see what comes. Use what I have reflected on in this piece to help you access your inner shadow friend. When did yours turn up? Why do you think they were needed and when did you lose control of the friendship? What’s the best way to negotiate with them when they want your attention.

Begin the dialogue now

They are waiting

Blessings

Odette

 

(c) OdetteNightsky2020

Gratitude In The Face Of Unimaginable Devastation

Screen Shot 2020-01-05 at 11.45.06 amFor many years this country has been nicked named ‘ The Lucky Country’. The term was actually a derogatory joke, but it was taken on and flipped into a positive as we were advertised as the land of the bright blue skies, beautiful beaches, abundant nature with an optimistic ‘G’ day mate’ attitude. As I sit her with the windows closed due to thick orange smoke and read and watch the devastation in this country of Australia I can feel the collective grief as heavy and thick as the smoke is outside.

These fires are now worse that the Amazon fires and California fire’s put together. Millions of animals are dead, the land is scorched so badly that regrowth in some areas won’t happen. And we have more of this apocalyptic disaster yet to come. The firefighters and community front line workers are our humble hero’s while our current prime minister is being ripped to shreds, and deservedly so, but that’s another subject and at the moment it won’t help reading my righteous rage.

What I find coming up for me in this devastating heartbreak is… Gratitude. Gratitude, when I see a video of someone on a bike giving a desperate koala a drink who is hanging on to their leg for dear life, gratitude to the dog and the firefighter that helps find the injured koala’s and other animals in the ravaged bushland, gratitude to all those donating from overseas and here at home to the firefighters. Gratitude to the man who saved a family and their dog on a boat from a flame that was going to wipe them all out, gratitude to the people that come and rescue the horses who will die otherwise, gratitude to the fire chiefs that are doing an amazing job in leadership, gratitude for the app called ‘Fires near me’ that keeps me posted on how close the fires are, gratitude to people giving up their caravans or a room for others who have lost everything, gratitude for water, the air-conditioning that others do not have on the burning days of over 40-degree temperature’s which are becoming more common, gratitude to my friend who paid the firefighter’s lunch bill yesterday, gratitude for our neighbours that have put my elder mother who I care for, and myself into their fire plan.

I could go on and on. Every day I see or read acts of kindness. Terrible times can bring out many feelings…. Grief, anxiety, fear, anger and hopelessness. It can also bring out the best in people, often those on the ground facing things front on, who ask for nothing in return. I myself am donating to the care of injured animals. as I am so deeply grateful to those caring for animals that have been burnt as I just can’t do that, my heart would shatter into a million pieces. Gratitude to those who can and do.

I sit here in deep gratitude for everyone doing their bit to help.

I am not one who relates to the concept of prayer, so if you would like to help, please donate where you can and envision good consistent rainfall that nourishes the land.

In gratitude
Odette